(Closed) Gift Registry

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
88 posts
Worker bee

We feel the same way and specifically asked that if people were considering giving us gifts, to consider making a donation to a charity that we support.  In order to show people how serious we are about this, we are making a matching gift to the charity in honor of our wedding and our wedding guests.  The charity has had people ask for donations in lieu of gifts before; the matching gift is something new.

That said, many guests, including my parents, want to give us something that we will have the rest of our lives together.  With this in mind we registered for some stuff, but really not a lot of stuff, at bed bath & beyond and then at myregistry.com.  We’ve learned that many of our guests are planning on "splitting" the gift between the charity and us. 

We don’t want gifts.  We want people to come and dance and have fun and celebrate with us.  People, however, want to give gifts to the couple and they really like giving things that the couple will have the rest of their lives together.  The purpose of the registry is to make this easier for everyone. Like many many things in this whole wedding process, this is one of those things that is not necessarily about you.    

Even if you don’t want to do a traditional registry or the charity thing isn’t for you, have you considered the honeymoon type registry, like at honeyfund. 

Post # 4
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well, I think that having a registry just makes sense.  People will want to shower you with gifts, whether you register or not.  It is just common practice, traditonally to help the newlyweds start their new life together. 

As far as the showers go, I’ve never EVER thought of it as asking for a handout.  Generally babybridal showers are thrown for you by someone else. To celebrate your impending wedding/baby.  

My fiance and I plan on registering for some items, mostly things that we probably wouldn’t spend the money on ourselves, but would really like to have (china, kitchenaid mixer) along with a few other things just to update what we have.  We don’t necessarily NEED these things, in fact I’m sure we would survive without them, so if no one showers us with them, it’s no big deal.  However, it would be nice to replace some cheap bachelor pad items from his place, and some of my college wares with more adult things. 

Post # 5
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

You know what I never got?  Whe people dont understand why they are supposed to bring gifts.  Showers, be them wedding or baby, are basically requests for gifts.  The who point of a baby shower is to help the new family set up for the coming of the baby.  If you want people to come over to help welcome the birth of the baby, and not bring gifts or ask where you are registered, dont call it a shower.

If you would prefer people not to bring gifts or to make a donation in leiu of a gift, thats great, very noble of you.  But I think its strange that youre irked that people expect to give and receive gifts.  Maybe its a cultural thing, maybe its an age thing…from my perspective, you give gifts at a wedding to help the new couple set up a household.  I think people have just forgotten that part…gift giving evolved from the notion of a dowries. The bridal dowery included items necessary for the new couple to set up a household…linen, towels..etc. 

Would you personally go to a wedding and not bring a gift?  What about a shower?  Probably not…

Post # 7
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Here’s my perspective- I love giving gifts! And I know many other people do to. It’s like when you’re invited to a party and ask "what can I bring?" I ask because I genuinely would like to bring something. Being told "just yoursef" by the host, while very sweet, is mildly irritating.

I guess I feel the same way about gifts. Fiance wants to make it very clear to others that we don’t want gifts. While I see where he’s coming from, and agree, I think that if someone wants to purchase a gift, let them. Then graciously thank them. Let them do something nice for you. Even if nice is an ugly picture frame.

I DID register for gifts. I won’t really tell anyone, but I chose places that those who know us, know we would go. That way, IF someone chooses to purchase a gift for us, I run a 50/50 shot at avoiding the picture frame!

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