(Closed) Gift when you RSVP no?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You don’t have to give  anything. A card is nice if you are close to the person 

Post # 3
7480 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Under this circumstance I probably wouldn’t send a gift.

I RSVP “no” to a ton of showers for people that I would consider acquaintances due to living in a different state. In those cases, I would send a gift because I would attend if I lived closer. In the case of not speaking to someone for years I *might* send a card but probably not a present.

Post # 4
13788 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I always send a gift when I decline an invitation, but I haven’t been invited to showers/other events for people I wasn’t close to.  

Just as an invitation is not a summons, an invitation does not demand a gift.  It’s up to the recipient if they wish to send a gift.

Post # 5
1663 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

HoorayLouLou:  I think it’s a play by play.  If i am declining because i’m not even sure why i was invited, or its an obligatiry invite from a distant cousin or something then i wouldnt send a gift.  If it was a friend or family member where i am genuinely regretful that i cant attend, i would send a token gift, probably not as expensive as if i were attending.  Anyone super close i would try my best to attend and havent turned down yet, but if i had to i would send them the same gift i would have brought with me to the event.

Post # 6
9530 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I give something if I want to send a token of goodwill and good luck to the couple, irrespective of whether or not I’m attending.

Last time I got a baby shower invite like that I sent them a small thing from their registry ($30-ish) to say “Oh, that’s great!  Congrats!  Hope it goes great for you.” (As opposed to “OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU AHH I CANT WAIT TO MEET THE LITTLE ONE.” and the couple are so close to me that I knew they were pregnant WAY before the 3 month mark… which translates to a $100+ gift lol.  Then there are levels in between, of course. :P)

Post # 7
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I only give gifts to people I’m close with. – If it was a childhood friend I have been out of touch with but still have a lot of good feelings for -I’ll send them something mid priced and shipped from their registry. 

A co worker– only if its someone I interact with and want to give them something useful but not spendy from their registry. 

If its a best friend or family member- i’ll probably be the one throwing the shower and making sure there are a million beautiful cupcakes and balloons and ribbons lol 

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