Post # 1
Darling Husband and I are invited to a (former) colleague’s wedding. I was never best freinds with theis person but we did work together for 3 years and spent time together out of work doing sports, at group outings and occasioanlly on a business trip. We are invited to the ceremony and a brief (1-2 hour) cocktail hour type reception after. I know there is a formal dinner reception following to which we are not invited. At first I was not offended but, considering we need to drive nearly 3 hours each way to attend, it is now making me a bit upset. The real question here is what do we gift them? I’m at a total loss. If you would recommend cash, what type of value?
Post # 3
@slicey19: I honestly like the idea of a gc to a yummy place for dinner. That is rather different from what I gather. I mean most get either cash or a gift off of their registries, so maybe one night they don’t feel like cooking dinner, they can use the gc. I think it is sufficient enough for having to drive 3 hours each way and only attending the ceremony and cocktail hour. Had you been invited to the reception too, I’d say cash or registry gift, but the gc should be fine.
Post # 4
Honestly, unless I was actually friends with the person I would never drive 3 hours just for a ceremony & cocktail hour. But I guess if I did I would just give them a gift card to a restaurant. I think flowers are kind of a strange wedding gift – since there will likely be flowers at the wedding itself and it just seems like a waste of money. I think a gift card would suffice.
Post # 5
I probably wouldn’t drive that far for a former coworker.
However, if you and your Darling Husband are going I would probably get a $30-$50 gift off their registry or some cash.
Post # 6
Cash or a resturant gift card for $30-50
But if there was a chance to RSVP no, I would do that as thats seriously far for such a short period of time…
Post # 7
I actually think it’s pretty rude to invite some people to a cocktail hour when it’s clear you’re not “good enough” for their dinner list. I’d probably send them something on the cheaper end of their registry and RSVP regretts.
Post # 8
I’d RSVP no and send them a modest gift card. I love the dinner idea (or some other “date” kind of gift card). I’d go with $30-40 and make sure it’s to somewhere where that’s an approriate amount.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
I have never, ever heard of inviting someone to only part of a wedding. People just don’t do that up here. Is that typical?
Post # 10
I know it’s normal in some places to invite people to only the ceremony, then have the reception for closer friends and family, but I personally think it’s pretty dodgy to invite someone who lives far away for just a ceremony and cocktail hour.
I probably wouldn’t even worry about going to the wedding or, if I did, I would just give a relatively small gift off the registry.
Still, at least you knew about this in advance! My husband and I were invited to one of his friend’s weddings a few years ago, and we found out at the ceremony that we weren’t invited to the reception. We had a 7 hour round trip to get there, two nights in the hotel, $100 on a gift, just to sit through their ceremony and get a sausage roll afterwards. We were pretty peeved off.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t even put much thought or effort into deciding on a restaurant for a GC, so I would just pick something boring off the registry and reply that you cannot attend. It’s in poor taste to invite someone to only part of the wedding, especially since they must know you’d be driving a distance to attend. I don’t think I’d be very happy if I were you!