(Closed) Gifting Question

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Technically, they have up to a year to give a gift. Gifts and cards are not required in the first place. How this situation is handled is to send thank you cards that say “thanks for sharing our day” and move on with the marriage. There’s nothing else you can do and it is rude to say anything to the guests.

Post # 4
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

There really isn’t anything you can or should do.  A gift is not a requirement for attending a wedding, although it is extremely considerate and usually the norm.  Some of the guests may have already attended a shower for your neice and given a gift then.  Some guests may send a gift later as the old saying goes that  you have a year to send a gift. Some “younger” guests don’t know proper gift giving etiquette and will never send a gift.  You invite guests because you want their “presence”, not their “presents”.

Post # 5
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No one is required to give her a gift.  Is it tradition?  Sure, but it certainly isn’t a requirement.  There really isn’t anything you can do about it. 

Post # 6
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s a bummer for your neice and her husband, but there is nothing to be done in this situation.  Guests are not required to bring a gift and saying something to them would be inappropriate.  I do disagree with the first response though that suggested sending a thank you note for their attendance.  I am of the belief that the reception is your thank you for attendance.  I did not send a thank you card to the few guests who didn’t give us a gift.. that would have been awkward to write I think.

Post # 7
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Do you know for certain that the guests didn’t give gifts. I am going to a wedding that is in a little over two weeks and i know that the couple is from out of state so I ended up buying something off of their registry and shipping the gift to their house. This way they don’t have to worry about bringing it back. Also I would do this if the couple was local since it means it is less for them to worry about taking home that night.

Post # 8
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I wouldn’t send “thanks for coming cards”, but I would also encourage your niece to not be petty or vengeful about it.  She should write prompt and personal notes for the gifts she received and  write prompt, personal notes for any gifts that come in over the next year.

As far as worrying about the people who DIDN’T send gifts:  don’t sweat it…I wouldn’t even start compiling a “mental list” of nongift givers…things happen, and in the end I feel it’s better to focus on the postive!

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