(Closed) gifts and tips breakdown

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
767 posts
Busy bee

scarlettbegonias87:  I’m not usually a huge fan of The Knot, but I found this article really helpful: http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-budget/articles/wedding-vendor-tipping-cheat-sheet.aspx

It is also typical for the bride and groom to exchange gifts and to get gifts for all your attendants (don’t forget flower girls/ring bearers) and your parents (more so if they financially contributed, but I think it’s customary regardless as long as they were emotionally supportive).

Post # 3
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

scarlettbegonias87:  This may help. We tipped: photographer, DJ, and caterer only. The caterer recommended a tip, I think 18%, for the servers and bartender. They did *not* have a tip jar out. We gave the photographer and DJ I think $150 each…? Maybe $100 for the DJ and $150 or %200 for the photographer. Anyway, it worked out to ~18%.

We gave gifts to: all parents, our officiant (was a friend), bridesmaids and groomsmen, something extra for the Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man, my friend who did my hair and makeup, his grandmom who made our invitations, and my aunt who was my DOC. We didn’t go too big for anyone, but I think they all liked them. We got:

Moms: necklaces (non-matching, just ones we thought they would like)

Dads/stepdad: exotic wood tie bars for his dad and stepdad, a typewriter key tie bar for my dad. They wore them day of, although we ask them to.

Bridesmaids: matching necklaces, coordinated but different rings. I think all 3 wore the rings.

Groomsmen: Matching ties and tie bars personalized with their initials. They wore them at the wedding.

Maid/Matron of Honor: Was my sister, I got her a cookbook and another DIY household stuff book, which was great for her.

Best man: He got him some fancy shaving stuff and a packet of razors from the (now-closed) store they worked at together. Kind of sentimental, good for him.

Grandmom/invitations: a succulent garden for her kitchen. (I actually had this delivered since she couldn’t come to the rehearsal dinner)

Aunt/DOC: art glass earrings.

Officiant/friend: matching knot necklace and earrings. (Cause she helped us tie the knot. Hahaha. We’re dorks.) She wore the earrings I believe.

Makeup artist/friend: I honestly cannot remember, but I think it was jewelery plus an Ulta gift card.

We spent $75-100/person I think, maybe a bit less. Almost everything came from etsy.

(I should also add that we asked the guys to wear black suits they already owned and to buy ivory shirts so my dress didn’t look dingy. We asked the BMs to get dark brown dresses in any style. My sister actually wore one she already owned. We weren’t concerned about matching, just coordinating. I’ve seen advice that if you’re insisting your BMs wear the same jewelery that shouldn’t count as their gift since it’s not like it’s chosen for them.)

Post # 5
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

We did things a little differently. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what to do about tips. I’ve talked it over with as many recent brides as I could find, and I’ve found that tipping everyone and everyone in our area isn’t as well known as weddingbee would have made it out to be. This might not be accurate for everywhere, but we are from a very rural area in the farm belt.. things are a little different here.

20% of my photographers rate is over $500. I think that’s insane for a tip when I’m already paying such a high price.

I even asked my dj and photographer how often they get tips, and it’s not very often.

What we did was $50 visa gift cards straight across the board, which included hair & makeup artists, both photographers, offficiant, bartender, dj, photobooth attendant, and day-of help.

Post # 6
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

As for parent, bridesmaid & groomsman gifts, we spent around $100 a person which included a gift card to places they like, and smaller gifts that we thought were cute.

Post # 7
2879 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

scarlettbegonias87: I run a lot of corporate events for work, so I’m using a lot of the same vendors and not tipping any professionals or owner operators. I’m dealing only with account managers and I show my appreciation via referrals or references.

Post # 8
2943 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


scarlettbegonias87:   I would not tip with a bottle of wine.  There are so many reasons why that could go wrong if you don’t know the person well.  They could be AA, they could not drink for religious reasons, ect.   If your wedding party drinks, though, I think that is an awesome gift. 

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