Gifts for an out-of-town wedding?

posted 5 months ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I didn’t have a registry or expect/need gifts from anyone, but especially those who were spending money to come to my state for the wedding! I will say 90% of people still gave a gift, but to be honest after they spend money to come celebrate, I couldn’t beleive they still gave gifts, I for sure thought it was not necessary! On the flip side both of my best friends got married and I had to fly there, and I gave them both gifts. 

A good mindset to take is not expect gifts from anyone (even those who don’t have to travel) and if when you go to your out-of-state wedding, if you want to give something more than a card, do so, don’t do it based on wether or not you got gifts.

Post # 3
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

mickeynicki :  I went to two different destination weddings and did not bring a gift to either, these were overseas and each trip cost me thousands of dollars to attend. 

If I were going say, a couple states over to a wedding I’d still bring a gift because that would be much more affordable, I wouldn’t have to take a bunch of time off work, etc.

I think most people do bring gifts regardless of if they have to travel or not, but for me it would depend on the situation.

Post # 4
Member
815 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t go to any wedding without a gift, even an oversees one. Not to be snarky but I would consider that really rude. A gift doesn’t have to be extravagent, even a $25 gift card to a favorite restraunt is fine IMO if your spending lots of money to travel. And with online shopping you don’t have to physically bring the gift with you could just have it mailed to the couple before/after the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
2012 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Agree with PP. I couldn’t go to a wedding without a gift.

We had guests from all over the world & they still bought us a gift

Post # 6
Member
9731 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I always bring a gift.

The guest list for my wedding was 90% out of towners and they all brought gifts. I definitely wouldn’t say it’s a rule or even the norm to not bring a gift if the wedding is out of town. 

I think it’s odd your mom is telling people not to bring gifts. If they choose not to on their own that’s fine as no one is really required to bring a gift but not sure why your mom is getting involved at all.

Post # 7
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I was raised to always bring a gift even if you travel lol 

Post # 9
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I always bring a gift, but the value of the gift changes depending on circumstances. Fiance and I went to a wedding that was ~7 hours from home, but close to his family’s vacation home. So really, it was just gas and a couple of vacation days, and we turned the rest of the trip into a vacation (we try to get up to the area a few times a year anyhow). We gave them a “cover your plates” decent gift. The only other “destination” weddings were in my hometown, a week apart, across the country. It required us to book two pricey tickets and use up a huge chunk of our vacation time. They got a card and a much more modest gift.

Either way, I’d never show up without SOMETHING.

Post # 11
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

buzzerbeater :  Yeah, I’d probably still give a gift, but I might give a smaller gift if it’s a destination wedding that was a significant cost to me. 

Post # 12
Member
4921 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Is your mom paying for the wedding? If so then it’s fine that she’s telling guests not to bring a gift but if your fi and yourself are paying for the wedding then mom needs to butt out.

Post # 15
Member
815 posts
Busy bee

moissamight :  yea I agree if the wedding costs a lot to attend it makes sense to give less. But also where I’m from no one is giving hundreds of dollars as wedding gifts no matter what unless your really close so when I see bees saying they typically give $200 plus I’m thinking whoa. Our very best friend gave us about $250 and we thought that was a lot.

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