(Closed) Gifts for renewing vows…

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Should a couple expect a gift for vow renewals?
    Yes : (3 votes)
    10 %
    No : (28 votes)
    90 %
  • Post # 3
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    This sounds like a scam, but people do give gifts a vow renewals. If you think it’s a scam, I wouldn’t give any money nor would I be attending their church.

    Post # 4
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Lol, Etiquette Snob here…

    Vow Renewals and NO Gifts are required, period

    If anything you attend to support the couple in their decision to proclaim their LOVE before God & others again (usually a Vow Renewal happens after a long period of marriage… ie 25 Years, or if there has been an incredible hardship… such as a serious illness, etc)

    Invitations should NEVER have any sort of reference to gift giving… to do so is just quite frankly being very “gift greedy” (and oh ya that word no one likes around here… Tacky.  Sorry, but it is outright tacky)

    As a Guest, your OBLIGATION is to reply.  Send a note, or a card… wish them well, and if not attending send regrets (we have other plans).  Truly the choice is yours to make.

    Honestly, from your description, it sounds like they are somewhat “strong arming” you to make a decision / attend / donate … and that is never cool.  The primary basis of Etiquette is to makes one’s Guests (potential Guests) feel comfortable not put upon. 

    Honestly, based on their pure lack of form when it comes to Etiquette, and all else you’ve revealed, I can’t say I’d want to socialize with these folks… I’d give my regrets, and then afterwards expand my social circle in another direction.


    Post # 5
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Gifts aren’t required, but if you want to give a gift it’s fine. But they shouldn’t put on the invite that they want donations to go on a trip…..that’s crazy! LOL

    Post # 6
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Their church mortgage is months behind and their bills are hardly paid, but they want a trip to Colorado? An they pray for drug dealers? (family or not) They aren’t taking their ministry vows with GOD seriously since he is a pastor…

    I wouldn’t give them money nor their church and I would quit attending.

    Post # 7
    2605 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

     Yeah, ITA w/ This Time Round. Gifts are customary, but never required–for any event, period, including vow renewals. And asking for one, particularly dictating what the gift should be, is a breach of etiquette.

    It sounds like you don’t like this couple so decline the invite, wish them well (you can send them a nice card), and forget about a gift. Dustoff, move on.

    Post # 8
    8357 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @happyface:  Yeah forget the gift I would be more concerned with the administration of the church. Are they a stand alone church or part of a larger faith organisation? If they are part of a larger faith organisiation I would contact their lead office for your state and report the clear misconduct. And if they are a stand alone I would report them to whatever government department looks after that sort of thing..

    Post # 9
    3266 posts
    Sugar bee

    No one should ever EXPECT a gift for any occasion.

    I would decline this invitation, since it seems that they are more interested in your presents then your presence. 


    Post # 10
    1636 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I am renewing my vows and expect NO GIFTS…  unless someone wants to buy us cocktails in vegas, then that will be gladly accepted:) 

    That is nutty! 

    The topic ‘Gifts for renewing vows…’ is closed to new replies.

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