Post # 1
Am I supposed to be getting gifts for the parents?
My fiance and I are putting everything on on our own. No parents have offered any money and we have not asked for any money. My mother-in-law to be is turning out to be quite the monster in law – she clearly believes this is her day and does not agree with most of the decisions my fiance and I make. My fiances parents are divorced and his mother is remarried. My fiance has 1 real sister and 6 step sisters. We are not close to his step-family at all – they don’t even acknowledge our presence in the room. For this reason, originally we did not want to invite them to the wedding – why should we have to pay $100/head for 6 step-sisters, each of their “plus 1’s”, plus his step aunt and uncle and their spouses step-grandma and step cousins – a total of 21 extra people (20% of the entire guest list) – this is all for people we really have no relationship with and would not care at all if they did not show up. She has really been a pain and I don’t think she deserves a gift especially because she has not done anything to help the process at all – financially or otherwise.
Post # 3
Why did you have to invited his step aunts and the rest of his step distant family/ i can see having to invite the step sisters to keep the peace, but really his step cousins?
I say if you are putting the wedding on yourseleves then you don’t have to give them gifts. Keep in mind that if you plan to give all parents gifts but exclude his mother then you will run into problems there when she finds out.
Post # 4
I don’t think you need to give gifts if they have not contributed to the wedding (either financially, or been overly helpful)
Post # 5
If neither set of parents has contributed, then no you don’t need to buy gifts.
Secondly, if you and your fiance are hosting the wedding, then it’s your decsion who is invited…although you need to be willing and able to put up with the drama that may ensue.
Post # 6
I would get them all something small. We gave our parents (4 sets due to divorces) framed engagement photos of us.
Post # 7
I had the same thought when we started making the guest list. We have been engaged a little over 1.5 years now and within the first month she sat down and wrote out an extensive list of people who needed to be invited – this list included her best friends parents that my fiance hasn’t seen since he was 5 and does not even know their names. She about flipped her lid when we said we were not having kids at the wedding. His step sisters have a combined total of 5 kids, a 10 year old, 7 year old, 2 year old and 2 infants. On my side I have a 5 year old nephew and 2 year old and infant nieces. Both my sister and my brother understand our request for no children. My brother is bringing his mother in law along to babysit the infant and my sisters inlaws who live in town will be coming to pick up my other niece and newphew after the ceremony (they are flower girl and ring bearer). She finally “gave-in/accepted” our no kids request but now that one of my fiances step sisters has an infant and does not want to leave the baby at home she expects us to change the rules just for her. My stance is that 1) we are providing babysitters who will stay at the hotel where the wedding is so the kids will be just a short walk away if they need anything, 2) if we make an exception for 1 person we have to make it for everyone and we are just not willing and cannot accommodate allowing everyone to bring their kids and 3) we are fairly young and are the first in our group of friends to get married – none of our friends have kids and we want to have a fun – adult only reception. You would think that she would realize that this day is about celebrating our love with people we love and who love us – it is not a “come one, come all” block party for everyone we’ve ever come in contact with. As petty as it sounds I have sent facebook messages to two of the step sisters simply asking for the names of their boyfriends so I can make place cards for them and they have not bothered to respond – and these are girls who definitely use their facebook accounts.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t worry about gifts.