(Closed) Gifts for the terminally ill?

posted 6 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Give him a basket with delicious food and, if he’s allowed to have it with his illness, nice wine or liquor.

Post # 4
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with redheadem.  I think food is a good idea. 

Post # 5
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think the pj’s thing is really nice.  And maybe other comfort items…slippers, socks, a scarf etc.  I’m thinking about my grandparents when they were dying and these were things that they enjoyed.  Also treats, my grandparents loved chocolates. 

Another idea might be a photoalbum.  Just putting together some pictures that you can go through together. 

Best ((Hugs))

Post # 6
8682 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

What about buying him a scrapbook or something like that and getting him to make his present so that it can be given to his future grandchildren. Like words of wisdom, funny family stories, memories etc etc. I am sure he would appreciate that more than any trinket you could buy and you could do it together and thus spend some more time with your dad.

Post # 7
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

If he is able, find an activity you could do to spend time with him, I think he would appreciate that more than THINGS. Or something like going over for dinner every coupe weeks if you live close enough. 

Post # 8
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would like something that reminds me of my family. Maybe a home movie or a photobook….

Post # 9
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

How about giving him some goodies that he likes? Hot chocolate, teas, a nice comfy pair of slippers?

I know this may not be terribly comfortable to hear either, but I’d rather let it out so you can consider it, than not say it at all and you have regrets later, BUT: many people often grieve, and wonder “did they really know how much I loved them? If only they knew…” that sort of thing. Why not decorate a nice box or jar, add nicely decorated bits of paper, and write a reason why you love your father, or why you appreciate your father on each one. That way, he’ll know how well loved he is and he can refer to it any time he pleases. Maybe you can offer to come watch football with him, or other some such activity? It doesn’t have to be a physical gift you give, really.

Good luck to you both. Enjoy your Christmas together.

Post # 11
10589 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@icetea:  I was thinking of the same type of stuff.  If you want to go bigger, maybe a pillow topper for a bed if the mattress is old.  A nice pillow or some sheets that feel really nice.

Post # 12
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

When my father was terminally ill with cancer I bought him the snuggliest wooliiest jumper I could find to keep him warm.  When someone is terminally ill, body heat can be an issue so the jumper was my way of hugging him when I wasn’t there. 

Post # 13
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d also like to add the one thing I wish I’d done with my dad in his final days was ask all the questions that didn’t matter then but matter now.  Like what tips would he give me for when I have my own kids?  Things like that.  Maybe you and him could fill a notebook together with these questions and answers? 

Post # 14
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Experiences would the be best gift at this point, IMO. I know you said he’s in a wheelchair, so perhaps try to find a wheelchair friendly fancy restaurant and take him out on a date, just you and him. Ask him questions, seek more information about his childhood and past experiences, tell him you love him, etc. I am sorry about your father. 🙁

Post # 16
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@anahappilyeverafter:  I like the advice idea. 

Also, if he hasn’t already documented his life story, now might be a really cool time. You could get him a voice recorder so he can share his stories at his leisure. You can transcribe it for the family (added bonus that you have his voice too!). I dunno, maybe I am actually thinking about what I would want instead of my ill folks…

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