Post # 1
I have an ongoing question about gifts to the bride and groom FROM the bridal party participants. I feel that the bridal party has done enough….traveled, thrown showers, stayed in hotels, threw bachelor/ette parties, etc. Not to mention their clothes for the day of the wedding. How do other brides feel about this?
Post # 3
I agree, the bridal party does a lot! And, if the bridal party lives in another town/area, hotel and travelling certainly add a financial burden to all that work. If they were unable to get a gift, after this financial commitment, I would be fine with it.
Gracielou, are you asking as a bride or as a bridesmaid? If you’re a bride, tell your bridal party your feelings. I’m sure they’ll appreciate that you recognize their hard work and appreciate that you don’t need a gift to know their love from them.
If you’re a bridesmaid, and can’t afford any more, remember that sometimes the best gifts don’t cost a lot, but are filled with love. If you are concerned, there are options. One of the best gifts a friend of mine got at her recent bridal shower was a photo album … filled with recipes on cards (instead of pictures). I think the cost was less than $10 for the materials (plus the time to write the recipes).
So, I think where you want this thread to go depends largely on which point of view you ask from. 🙂
Post # 4
From the point of view of a bride, I feel that our wedding party has done a ton – dontating their time and, in many cases, their talents to making our wedding special. I’ve made it clear that their participation is a gift and one that we greatly appreciate. That said, I’m pretty sure they’re going to get us something anyway.
Post # 5
I’m not expecting anything from the bridal party. Ours will be a destination wedding, so we don’t expect big gifts from anyone really. We registered for very few things and many are very inexpensive. It’s enough that people show up. (Of course, it helps that we have been together for some time and have already acquired a lot of housewares and the traditional things one registers for.)
The bridal party is already going above and beyond, they are definitely off the hook for a gift, though I also doubt they will listen to me.
Post # 6
The bride and groom should never expect a gift from anybody — there is no entry fee for a wedding! That being said, of course it is customary. It does get out of hand, though. I had a roommate in college who could barely make rent, but one of her high school friends in her ritzy Westchester hometown was getting married, and roommate was a bridesmaid and had to shell out all kinds of cash – dress, shoes, hotel, her share of the shower and bach. party, etc. On top of that, she felt like she had to give a gift of at least $200 cash because "that’s the way it’s done" where she was from.
I’m sorry, but when you are 20 years old and slinging pizza between classes, there needs to be a limit on "the way it’s done."
My fiance’s 23-year-old brother is practically selling a kidney to attend our wedding all the way from South Africa. The best present he can give me is the joy my new husband will feel having his brother with him at our wedding.
Post # 7
While most of our bridal party gave us gifts, I really did not expect them too. I agree that it is really expensive to be in a wedding most times, with tux rental, flights, hotel, etc. For the few that did not and said anything to me about how they felt bad I made sure to explain to them taht I really did not want them to get us a gift and that it would only end up making me feel guilty. I reminded them that we were moving and it may only add to my mess since my car was busting at the seems 🙂 They new I was partially kidding but I think it made them feel better that they hadn’t gotten me anything.
Post # 8
As a bridesmaid I always gave a gift costing as much a non-wedding party guest would give- regardless of the cost of travel/dress/etc.
However, if money is an issue, I say give something small but sentimental- a picture frame, a photo album, a handkerchef. It will mean a lot for the bride/groom to have a reminder of your sentiments and participation in their day.
Of course gifts are never expected/mandatory otherwise they would be a fee. However, I agree with other posters that suggested letting your party know you consider their particpation a irreplacable gift.