Post # 1
In my fiances family, everyone gives money as a gift for the wedding. I am sooo torn about if I should have a gift registry or not.
The thing is, I don’t even know if I’m having a bridal shower, I might, but I might just skip it.
The reason why I would skip the registry is that I feel sooooo weird putting together a "wish list" of things I want, because normally we get everything we want on our own. We live together, and both had our own place – fully stocked with what we need.
So the only thing I can think we could want is probably fine china, but we won’t use it now until we move from his place into a house.
I’m really confused! Will the guests who give gifts, just give money? What if they dont care to give money, will they just buy whatever … would they be upset there’s no registry?
I’ve only gone to one wedding, we gave money! Lol. I’m confused.
Post # 3
Well, why don’t you just take a look at some registry places? Go to BB&B, Macy’s, or even Target, and see if there are some things you would like. Then you can give some guidance to people who want to buy you a gift. And even if you don’t have a shower, I think some people will give you gifts.
However, I don’t think people who want to buy a gift, as opposed to giving money, will be be frustrated at not having a list. I think if someone is that into a gift, they welcome the opportunity to search for something nice. Of course, that is coming from me, who would probably rather put some money in an envelope because it’s so much easier…
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2009 - Red Fish Grill
Creating our registries has been the thing I’ve liked least about the whole planning process. LOL I put it off for the longest time. I did learn, though, that there are perks to creating one… even if you think your guests might not use it.
A lot of stores have registry completion programs. They offer discounts (usually 10-15%) on items remaining on your registry after your wedding for anywhere from 3 months to even a year after the event. Put your fine china on the list! If no one buys it for you, you can get it for yourself with the gift money and save while you’re at it!
The person who helped us at Pottery Barn suggested we add big-ticket items like furniture to our list, just to take advantage of the completion program later on. It’s an interesting strategy. (I know if I saw a $3,000 couch on someone’s registry, though, I’d be raising an eyebrow! So we passed on that idea.)
Post # 5
I don’t think anyone will be upset if you don’t have a registry. I -like- picking out gifts for people, but I always use the registry if they have one, so that I get them something they really want and need. Without it, I’d have fun picking out something I think they’d like! Most people will probably just give you money if you don’t have a registry, though.
You may want to "think outside the box" on the registry though…it doesn’t have to be just china and linens You can put anything on there that the two of you enjoy…bicycling gear, photography equipment, a Wii, home improvement items, whatever you like!
Post # 6
I completely understand you! We did not register at all and received many criticisms, but we already have everything we need/want. I think checks are acceptable, but in today’s world registries aren’t totally necessary. I say, don’t fall for all the pressure. Don’t register if you don’t want to.
I’m not having a shower either. I really don’t want to have one. We are having a small wedding where most of our friends who are invited live abroad. I would feel weird inviting people to the shower that weren’t invited to the wedding…It is up to you, but know there are other people in the same situation. It is really tough when family is pressuring you to do things "traditionally" just stick to your beliefs and do what YOU want to do and what you think is best for you.
Congratulations and best of luck!
Post # 7
Whatever anyone else may say, it is totally okay not to have a registry. Miss Manners types will even breathe a sigh of relief at your very proper tactfulness. We have a small registry, and I feel really funny about having one at all because many of our guests will pay a pretty penny to even come to our wedding. I kinda feel like I sold out over this one….
Post # 8
Though I tend to give money at weddings, I know people that like to give gifts. I also know that people that don’t know you super well like to have a guide. Just register for some stuff online, if nobody uses it- oh well. It won’t really hurt, and it won’t look like you are just asking for cash.
Post # 9
If you end up having a bridal shower, I would highly recommend starting a registry. People give gifts at a shower (not money).
Also, if you don’t get a registry, be prepared to get some REALLY weird stuff for gifts 🙂 Although a lot of people do give money for the wedding gift, a lot of people still think it is rude and really prefer to give a gift.
If you think you might like china, I would pick out a pattern you like and register for it. What can it hurt?
Post # 10
I agree with MrsK2be. Register for your china so that guests who want to buy a gift will know what to get you, and you don’t up getting strange things you may not even be able to return. And if no one buys the china, no big deal!
Post # 11
I think some sort of registry is important because there are usually people who will prefer to give gifts.
Only add a few things. You will always need nice bath towels (As they are a product that loses shape and fluffiness over time), maybe an extra set of sheets, picture frames that are "your style"… ya know?
Another option would be to encourage guests to give to a charity that is important to you.
Post # 12
If you know you want fine china, I would say register. And you can put only that if you want it. Everyone I’ve talked to said that it doesn’t matter if you won’t use it for year, you most likely will not buy it for yourself b/c it will always seem an unnecessary luxury.
Post # 13
CraftyPants, I think I may go register and take advantage of this … just for that reason! I can never pass up a good deal. Plus, soon we’ll be buying our home- moving out of fiances BACHELOR (totally a boys place that I don’t fit in but that’s a rant for another time), and my place is being sold, so when we move I’m sure we’ll wanna buy our own new stuff! Cool. Cool. Thank you for that tip!
Post # 14
Are you two planning on taking a honeymoon? Maybe you could set up a honeymoon registry – people will purchase peices of your trip and you can plan away!
Otherwise, I dont think people will be upset if you dont have a registry. i think of a registry as a way to give people ideas about what you need and want. without one, there will probably be a good amount of people who buy you household items they *think* you want, and others who just get you checks and gift cards. You can spread the word among your closest friends and family members that if people give gifts, money is what you need most…that way they can discreetly spread the word if folks come asking 🙂
Post # 15
We are in the exact same situation. We are welcoming $$$ gifts if people feel compelled to give us something. Registries are an invention of American consumer culture. Other cultures traditionally give cash – especially in Chinese & Italian families.