(Closed) Gifts – reciprocity?

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
10507 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I give gifts based on what I can afford and my relationship with the receiver.

I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable receiving a gift I couldn’t afford to reciprocate. I figure people give what they can afford/want without expecting a gift of equal value in return.

Post # 3
2851 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t base my gift giving off theirs. For example, I have a good friend who didn’t get me a baby gift. When his wife became pregnant, I still sent them a very nice baby gift. Their financial circumstances are not the same as ours. It was done out of love, not based on what they had (or hadn’t) done for us. 

Post # 4
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We always give the same amount based on relationship.

For all of the weddings we’ve attended thus far, we’ve given more to the couple than they gifted us. By NO means do I think that we should lessen what our gift would be to “match” their giving. 

Post # 5
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

we’re not well off (couldn’t afford the apparently standard £50 wedding gift) so I choose sentimental gifts mostly for people… it might only be $10-$20 worth but I like to find stuff I think they’ll like such as items they collect or things that are personalised to them

some people give lots of money which is useful dont get me wrong but some people give little things which I always love because I appreciate the effort someone put in

Post # 6
819 posts
Busy bee

I feel like I don’t really take the value of gifts into consideration when giving or receiving gifts. If it’s something nice and something I/the receiver would use, it’s perfect. I feel like petty people keep score, and normal people just give what they can and are ok with receiving any kind of thoughtful gift.

I’ve only felt uncomfortable getting an expensive gift once. My fiance and I decided to celebrate our six month “anniversary” for the fun of it the first year we were dating. He surprised me with a very nice, expensive dress, and I felt bad because my planned gift was an afternoon at a museum he liked– it was nowhere near the cost of the dress, and I felt awful because it seemed like we had very different expectations about what the occasion meant and how much was “enough” to spend! But we talked about it, and it was all fine– he made it very clear that it’s the thought that counts to him, so he wasn’t upset at all. The gifting has evened out now over the years; some occasions I give him something way more expensive than what he gave me, but in the end it’s really the thought that counts and the cost doesn’t matter anymore.

Post # 7
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I give gifts off of what we can afford and based on relationship.  I’ve given gifts to people that didn’t (or have yet to) get us wedding gifts. I know that we can afford a bit more, so that we probably generally give more money for weddings than most of our friends. Further, some of my friends live in a more rural part of the country where the gift giving amount is just generally smaller. I haven’t really thought about making other people feel uncomfortable, and certainly don’t expect them to reciprocate. I do understand what you are saying about how it can sometimes be awkward! 

Post # 8
1146 posts
Bumble bee

I give gifts based on what I can afford, my willingness to pay at the time, and my relationship with them. I don’t expect gifts in return or assume its of xyz value according to what I think I should get. My gifts have no strings attached. Reciprocity is not required but a pleasant surprise.

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