Post # 1
Ahh…it happens to us all. We dream of the small, intimate wedding with a short but sweet guest list.
And then we all make the mistake of asking the mothers who they’d like to invite. Answer: everybody.
I was a fool and thought I’d have some say in limiting the guest list. So I picked what I thought were reasonable numbers: 55 for my family, 55 for his, and 25 for fiance and I.
Turns out, my parents/FILs viewed these as mere “suggestions.” My parents invited about 125 people, his about 175, and we stuck to our original 25. Okay, maybe 30.
The thing is that we live in Montana near his parents, and are getting married in Virginia, where I’m from. So everyone keeps telling me that “Don’t worry, most people won’t come.” Which is frustrating because, a) who wants to be told that most people don’t want to come to their wedding?! and b) right now we’re hoping of a RSVP rate of “no” of about 60%. My mom went ahead and booked a tent that holds 144.
I’m just freaking out a little. I mean, just a little bit. We’ve already had to change the original venue (which held 100) because it took forever to convince my parents that even though most Montanans wouldn’t come, we were still inviting way more east coasters than could fit in the restaurant.
I figure worst comes to worst, we get all the RSVPs back and have to switch it to a bigger tent. Which shouldn’t be a problem with enough notice. And I’ll forever get to say “I told you so” to my parents. Even though they’ll just complain to everyone about how I just had to have a big wedding.
What do you think? Do you think 200 people will RSVP no to my wedding??
Post # 3
Wow poor you. I kinda know how you feel – the family pages of the guest lists are SOOO much longer than the friends ones! Made me feel like Nora no mates, until I realised that it’s just I don’t feel the need to invite everyone I’ve ever met lol !!
It sounds like your plans are reasonably flexible, can you maybe send your invites out kinda early, with a good early RSVP date, to help it work?
Post # 4
Are you the ones paying? If so, you have the right to cut down the guest list to what you can afford. I really don’t think that you are going to have 200 not attend the wedding, that’s a huge amount of people that wouldn’t come.
Post # 5
There is no way to even guess until you start receiving replies back and have the answers in your hand. Your know your guests better than anyone here does.
While it’s too late at this point, the first thing to do when putting the guest list together is decide how many people you can afford to host and don’t go over it. Be firm on your guestlist and don’t let anyone pressure you into inviting strangers who don’t care about you, or any other decision you don’t agree with. It’s your wedding, not your parents’ or anyone else’s for that matter. If you do something that you don’t agree with or want to do, then you will have regrets. Weddings are expensive and each person does add up, and not everyone wants to share their day with folks they don’t know who don’t support their relationship.
Post # 6
We aren’t the ones paying which is why I haven’t made a fuss about it. But my parents have given us a budget so I’m a little worried about being able to stay within that budget.
When my mom sent the address of someone she had just met, I put my foot down. I told her we had already ordered the invitations and absolutely couldn’t add a single other person!!
Post # 7
The general “rule of thumb” is about a 20% decline rate…but that is also depending upon how many of your guests are from out of town. We found that many of the Out of Town guests we invited decided to actually come to the wedding because it was a good excuse to visit family/friends/etc. I think more local people than Out of Town declined ours…but just so you get an idea we invited 365 guests and 280 RSVP’d “yes.” That is just over 20% for the decline rate.
I know many people feel that if they are the ones paying, they get to decide the guest list..but my fiance and I felt that no matter what the financial situation, this day was about our families too. Both sets of parents should be allowed a guest list, as well as our own. I mean, if the tables were turned and your parents were paying, you would want them to allow you and your Fiance a guest list, right?
Anywho, back to the topic at hand, you won’t really know until the RSVP’s start rolling in, because often what we “assume” will happen, is the complete opposite.
Post # 8
hmmm…I would have to go with No on this one. Alot of people won’t come, that is true, however out of 330 people, I do believe less than 200 will not RSVP. And dont forget, some people who didnt RSVP will show up anyway. Be careful, but I wish you luck…