(Closed) Girl buying the diamond?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee

Why is it strange?  The “rules” of getting engaged are just one great big marketing campaign.  Many couples design the ring together, pick it together, does it make them any less engaged if the gal paid more?

Naw, this is 2017 – do what works for you (them).  If the guy is okay with it, if he hasn’t been brainwashed too badly, why not?

Post # 3
Member
5710 posts
Bee Keeper

Its her money.. she buys whatever else she wants with it right?  I don’t see why she doesn’t just buy the entire ring.  No one needs to know or pass judgement on who paid for what.

Post # 4
Member
10513 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Well getting engaged is hardly the start of a relationship. And it’s really no ones business how they choose to go about buying a ring and getting engaged. How about you be happy for your friend rather than judging her choices?

Post # 5
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
bambii :  Wow settings are a fraction of the price , The diamond is what is really expensive.. I find it weird that she agreed to pretty much buying her entire ring… Can’t they split it down the middle so it’s fair to you’re friend at least? Personally I wouldn’t do it and I think it’s extremely unfair to your friend but if that’s how she wants to start off her engagement that’s on her..

Post # 6
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I bought my ring because my fiancé couldn’t afford something with the kind of wow factor I wanted, and there’s no sense in him going broke just to be able to say he bought it. She’s the one who has to wear it forever, so she should get herself what she wants. 

Post # 7
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I don’t see why not! Especially if she’s in the financial position to bankroll it. And it’ll still be significant if he picks the setting for it. I actually kind of like the idea of this rather than a unilateral decision/financing from only one party to the engagement. Each is responsible for a part coming together- just like a marriage!

Post # 9
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

I don’t think its weird at all. A man doesn’t buy the right to marry a woman by exchanging her life for a diamond. So it doesn’t matter in the slightest who foots the bill. If she wants major bling he can’t provide, she should go for it. It’s her that has to wear it and love it for life. It will all become shared assets after the wedding anyway.

Post # 10
Member
472 posts
Helper bee

What does it matter since once they are married they will have joint finances either way? It won’t make any difference, cause all her money will be his money too, and vice versa. It just puts them ehead of schedule!

Post # 11
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2007

View original reply
bambii :  I’m the kind of person who would get a 0.25 carat stone just to annoy my judgemental family.  Your friend needs to stop allowing her mommy, daddy, and sisters pressure her decisions about her upcoming engagement.

Time to cut the cord.  That’s the whole point of marriage anyway.

Post # 12
Member
10513 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
VintageGirl1020 :  No one bats an eye at a guy paying the full price of an engagement ring or says it’s unfair. This arrangement is hardly unfair. If she has the finances to pay for it and her boyfriend doesn’t this arrangement may be what makes them both happy. Splitting it down the middle may not be possible it or what they want. 

Post # 13
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

To each their own. I haven’t heard of anyone specifically splitting it so that the girl buys the diamond and the guy buys the setting, but I have heard of engagements where the girl buys her ring outright. I think in a lot of those situations they see it as “well, we’re planning on combining finances in the future anyway, so who cares who pays now?”

I would check with your friend to see what her boyfriend thinks of this idea though. Some guys are very prideful in being able to “provide” for their loved one, so I’d be concerned that this might hurt his ego… not to say that I think he should feel a certain way, but I have heard about situations where this nontraditional arrangement was suggested and it created a little animosity.

Post # 14
Member
7807 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If they are planning to marry and join their finances, and she’s comfortable with this, what does it matter who pays for the diamond? 

Post # 15
Member
5441 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

We have a daughter so all of our expenses are combined. At first I tried to always do the ring payments from our joint account because he wanted to pay… then I gave up and just processed the payments from whichever account had the most funds at the time

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