Post # 1
We are having my 4 year old niece be our flower girl for the wedding. We were thinking of having my FI’s niece be our ring bearer (we do not have any boys in our family). Do you think it would upset FI’s brother & sister in law if we asked their daughter to be the ring bearer rather than another flower girl? I just figured- the ring bearer doesn’t have to be a boy, so why not? Anyways, I am trying to decide if they should wear the same dresses if she is a ring bearer? Or different? Flower girl is 4 and Ring Bearer is 5.
Also, would they walk down the aisle together or on their own? The flower girl will have a pomander and I assume the ring bearer will be carrying the pillow down..? Just trying to figure out what to do and would like your thoughts :]
Post # 2
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
If you’re worried about family reactions, I would talk to them first. That way they can address their feelings and not be surprised on the big day. It would probably help if they were a little different, so not wearing the exact same dress. Obviously the ring bearer would carry a pillow and the flower girl a basket of petals. But I think it’d be nice if their dresses were different too. Similar in style and and the same color but not the exact same dress is what I’d shoot for. I’d also probably have them walk in separately. Then there’s no issue of one girl trying to steal the limelight from the other (or however you’re worried the family might interpret it).
Post # 3
I know when I was 5 I LOVED to dress like my sisters and friends. I’m sure, had I been in the situation, I would have felt odd if I wasn’t wearing the same dress as the flower girl.
The good thing about weddings these days is there are no hard rules. As long as all parties involved agree, then there is no issue. 🙂
Post # 4
You could also just have 2 flower girls and no ring bearers. We had 2 ring bearers (boys) and no flower girls since it just kinda worked out that way! It was great!
Post # 5
I say do whatever you think would make them most comfortable. We had a 5 yr old flower girl and an 8 yr old flower girl and did different dresses for each of them, since their ages were so different. The 8 yr olds was much less cutesy than the 5 year olds (not that an 8 year old couldn’t wear a cutesy dress..we were just rolling with these little girls’ tastes)
Also, I scored the dresses for $25 each at Burlington Coat Factory (a totally random find but they had a great selection). They were both all white, just slightly different styles. Paired them with cheap, cute little red sparkly flats from target. Total cost for both girls was around $75.
Post # 6
I think having a ring bearer as a little girl would be cute! I can see the dresses either way but my worry would be that if you had them wear two different dresses would one little girl like the other’s dress better and cause problems ( or problems with picky parents, potentially?). Having both wear the same dress might make things sImpler.
Post # 7
You could have two flower girls and no ring bearer (instead giving the rings to the best man and/or maid or matron of honor), OR you could have BOTH girls carry flowers AND one of the rings each.
Post # 8
Hmmm I like all of the suggestions! I just don’t know if we want 2 flower girls – I think I would prefer 1 flower girl and 1 ring bearer. Or just 1 flower girl and no ring bearer. I don’t know. We have a lot of nieces between FI and I (6) so we just decided to have my goddaughter as our flower girl. And FI’s nieces live out of state and they have said in the past how much work it is to be in a wedding and that was initially why we were just going to have the one flower girl. I don’t know what to decide, I’m going to think it over some more. Just wanted to thank you all for your thoughts!