(Closed) “Girlfriend”…..ugh

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

haha, I hate the word “fiancée” it makes me feel like we’re so snooty and are rubbing it in people’s faces that we’re getting married. I would rather be called “girlfriend.” But that’s just my personal preference. 

Post # 4
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@KaitlinHudson:

ME TOO!! If I have to talk to any customer service people, etc. I either say boyfriend or just go ahead and say husband. “Fiance” just sounds to me like I’m trying to brag about the fact that I’m engaged when they really don’t care. LOL.

Post # 6
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@KaitlinHudson:

&

@ohheavenlyday: 

I’m the same way too! I still say Fiance (I mean… that’s what I am, and I don’t want to confuse people) but it took so much getting used to. After getting engaged I cringed every time we said it, and I even felt guilty when girls in my classes would say “oh, did you get engaged” and I would show off my ring… If it wasn’t a close friend, I felt like a show off. 

I do think that the one thing that has gotten me a bit more used to it, however, is a long running joke. While we were dating, somehow this joke developed that he was engaged to my best friend (who is my MOH) and they would call each other “Feeance or “Fianche” in a very silly way. It was really hilarious and lasted for months, and didn’t actually end until we got engaged. So now when we say “This is my Fiance” I can kind of giggle at the joke in the back of my head, and it makes it easier. 

Post # 7
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I never call my Fiance “fiancee,” it just sounds weird and unnatural.  I still get your frustration, OP. I got to the point where I very nicely asked my Fiance not to mention any more wedding stuff until it was official.  I told him I’m just frustrated that it’s not happening Right Now because I want it to so badly. 

It seemed to drive home the fact to him that I was actively waiting for him to make a move. 

 

Post # 8
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I feel like you’re about 3-5 weeks behind me in the waiting process. I was just in this same situation where my guy and I had already talked about everything, already decided we were getting married, and he was in the process of getting a ring and planning a proposal. I got myself so upset thinking about it. I took a vow of silence that I would be patient and let him do his thing. That lasted all of maybe 2 weeks and I had a major freak out. So in my case, staying quiet wasn’t the right choice for me. I like that he is “working on stuff” and looking at rings, etc, but I also felt like it wasn’t going anywhere. After months of “running errands” alone I expect to see some results! I feel like it’s a delicate balance. I had to let him know it was frustrating for me to just sit by and wait, and that societies expectation of a ring for an official engagement drove me nuts. But I also have to let him do his thing, especially if I want it to be any sort of a surprise at all. So my advice, if you’re anything like me, is not to bottle it all up, but to be open about how you feel but then give him the space to act on his own. 

Post # 9
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@mispriss1215:

I’m sure once you do get engaged, you won’t care so much about being referred to as “fiancee.” But I can see how, if you’re waiting, it might hurt to be referred to as girlfriend when you know you’re more.

Post # 10
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

@ohheavenlyday:

I LOVE that word, fiance. And why not? We’ve been waiting for x amount of years for him to finally pop the question, and women still want to be called ‘girlfriend’??

I can’t wait to be able to call my b/f ‘fiance’. I’ve waited long enough and in my honest opinion I deserve that title, as cheesy as it is. We all do. And as far as feeling like I’m rubbing it in or showing off? Meh. I’m not too worried about it. My family members and friends have been rubbing it in my face with their new husbands, babies, new houses, etc. for YEARS. It’s my turn.

Gwen.

 

Post # 11
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Really it sounds to me like he is messing with you.  For me, it got to a point where I asked my husband to stop talking about wedding planning while we were waiting because it was too painful.

Post # 12
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I got really mad at my Darling Husband for talking about wedding stuff before he proposed. I get mad the same way when he stays late at work and calls me to tell me he’s leaving, I always snap and say “Don’t call me, just leave!!” b/c I’m WAITING for him and he’s wasting time.

If I were you I would tell him that it hurts you to talk about wedding stuff while you aren’t engaged and you hope the proposal happens soon, but in the meanwhile to cool it on the wedding talk.

Post # 13
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@ohheavenlyday:  HAHAAH! I don’t think I said fiance the whole 18 months we were engaged. It sounds so stupid to me. I would just say “this is chris”. In the whole 18 months no one was like OMG WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Because you’re right- really, no one cares.

Post # 15
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ack it’s so frustrating!  It’s hard to be planning a wedding when you aren’t engaged yet and it always seems like guys don’t want to propose when their girl is thinking about it, which happens when they want you to start planning!

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