(Closed) “Girls day out” instead of bridal shower…but what about FMIL?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Uh…drag her along and try to turn her? 😛

I know a lot of women in their early 60’s who are really into pampering, so I think this is more just your Future Mother-In-Law…

Would she enjoy a nice dinner out, maybe?  And does she expect to be invited to your “girls’ night”?

Post # 4
521 posts
Busy bee

are you combining a shower and a bachelorette party? You get gifts at a shower (for your home) and you go out and do stuff with your girls for the bachelorette. But, you should do it the way YOU want it. You are concerned about your Future Mother-In-Law. I’d say if she wants to throw you a shower, fine. But I wouldn’t expect a Future Mother-In-Law to be invited to your bachelorette party/thing. Although, I’m inviting my former mother in law to my bachelorette party…..but we’ve known each other for 20+ years and I’m the mother of her only grandchild.

Post # 6
521 posts
Busy bee

I gotcha. I won’t have a night with booze and phallic stuff either. Well, you know what? Officially, YOU don’t invite anyone to your shower. It is another female relative that does that. So, it’s not even your responsibility. And, since this is a girlfriends thing (and your Future Mother-In-Law would be huffing and scoffing all the way, by the sounds of it), I don’t think you would be doing anyone any favors by inviting her. Is YOUR mom going to your bachelorette day? Either way, it may feel best to find an activity you know your Future Mother-In-Law would love (high tea, dinner and a movie?). Good luck!

Post # 8
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Sounds like a great day. I would make the invitation for pedicures at X, followed by lunch at Y. That way the people who want to come to both can and the people who just want to come for lunch can do that too. Odds are it’s not just your Future Mother-In-Law who won’t be able to come for a pedicure so I think an invite that makes it clear she would still be welcome without the pedicure would be a nice compromise.

Post # 9
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think she can pull up a chair and sit and watch while you guys get the pedis.  No big deal.  My Future Mother-In-Law is kind of the same and surprisingly actually she really liked the free facials we did at the clinique counter. 

Who would be paying for this day out?  Are all the guests paying their own way?

Post # 11
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i would say invite her – if she doesn’t want to come, then at least you considered her?

when my aunt got married everyone went and got manicures for the wedding and i had to drag my mom to come because she ‘doesn’t do that’… she’s now hooked 😛

Post # 12
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think if you include your mom then include the Future Mother-In-Law.  Just make it clear on the invites that it is a spa day and lunch.  If she wants to come she can and it doesn’t mean she has to get a pedi.  She can sit in the chairs and catch up on the chatter.  She probably would be hurt she didn’t even get an invite.

Post # 13
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I had never had a pedicure before, and had only gotten my nails done for prom and HS graduation.  My aunts and my mother had never had either, but they thought it would be fun to do at least ONCE.  ASK you Future Mother-In-Law if she’d like to join you…she may surprise you and decide to give it a try.  My mom liked her nails so much she kept them up for about eight months after the wedding before finally having them removed.  And if your Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t care to join you, I agree that you should have the day’s events at certain times so she can join you later in the day, (and so other people who can’t make it to all can still make it to some of your day).

Post # 14
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Ditto on what others said.  Even though Future Mother-In-Law is not into those types of things, this is a different occasion.  Send her the invite and let her make the decision if she wants to attend of not.  She may opt to join for some or all – and, if you speak to her and she voices concern, tell her you’d love for her to be there with everyone, but you understand x, y, or z.  The point is to include her and make her feel part of the girls day… regardless if the activity is one she really likes.


Post # 15
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i would invite her, at least she would probably want to join you for lunch, if not the whole event.

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