(Closed) Girls gone wild… are you SERIOUS?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Honestly I would prob want to go more then my FH. But unless hes actully doing something with the girls im kinda on the meh. They prob just want to go and make fun of the girls!

Post # 4
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Is it acceptable for a married man to participate in something like that?
It depends on the couple and the boundaries that are set between the husband and the wife. Personally, I would not be OK with this.

However, his reaction, name calling and lack of respect for your discomfort is 100% not acceptable. He was not acting like a married man, he was acting like a teenager having a tantrum. Now THAT would have my husband sleeping at his friend’s house…

Post # 5
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Noooope not overacting. I would say denied! Especially if he is coming at you the way he is. No need for him to be there and personally girls gone wild is so disgusting

Post # 6
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If I were you I would not let him go.

Dangerous.Move. I have accidentally bumped into one of those and I would not let my guy go. Strip club maybe but those.. no no. Not if you are married and your wife is sitting home with your child while you watch these drunk women do what they do for attention and “things” happen.

You have every right to be upset and as your husband he should understand and move on from it.

Post # 7
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think I’d be a little upset about this whole situation.  I’m not normally not a jealous person, but knowing that you wouldn’t want to go/wouldn’t have a babysitter even if you did want to go totally sounds like he’s setting it up so he could go with his friends, just like you said.  It sounds kind of fishy, but if you trust him to make good choices while he’s out at this girls gone wild thing, then I wouldn’t worry too much about it.  If he starts acting differently though…maybe you need to talk to him and let him know your concerns.  Actually you should probably do that anyway, but without accusing him of anything.

Post # 9
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wouldn’t care if my husband went (I’d probably enjoy going and laughing at the stupid drunk girls myself).

What I would care about was his terrible and unacceptable reaction to your disapproval.  Your husband should care about you enough to not throw a tantrum and call you names.

Post # 10
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

HAHA i can tell you a war would be in my house too!!

Post # 11
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

This is what I would do in that situation (and I’ve been in kind of a similar situation):

I would calm down, get my thoughts in order, and then (calmly) speak with him and let him know why you are not comfortable with it, and ask him why does he think it’s ok? (Not in a rude way, but genuinely wanting to know the answer.) Have an open and honest conversation without either of you getting offended.

Sometimes, my FH does stupid things, and I will ask him in a genuine way, “Why did you do that?” He’ll actually think about it and realize it was stupid or wasn’t well thought out. Sometimes guys don’t think. Or sometimes he will have a really good reason, and it will change my opinion of whatever it was that he did.

I would also mention that calling his wife “retarded” and “crazy” is in no way appropriate or acceptable and request that he find more respectful ways to articulate himself. He doesn’t want his daughter growing up thinking that is ok, does he? He has a right to have a different opinion than you, but shouldn’t convey that opinion in such a disrespectful manner.

On side note, I was 19 and FH was 20 when we started dating, and I had a hard time letting him do things he wanted to do. When I actually thought about it, I had a couple of important thoughts: 1) I trust him, so even if I don’t like what he’s doing, I know he’ll conduct himself in an appropriate way, so as not to disrespect me or our relationship, and 2) Since we were (and still are) so young, I want him to be able to live his life the way he wants to live it because I do not want him resenting me 15 years down the road. We only get one life, and we should be able to do what we want, obviously within reason. So just about everything that he wants to do, he does. Because I know he would never do anything to jeopardize what we have.

So think about the Girls Gone Wild thing. Is it within reason for you? Only you can decide that, and if it is, let him go. But then he has to watch your daughter so you can go out and do something. If it’s not, explain to him why in a way he can understand.

Post # 12
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@JenniMichele I love the post that you just wrote.  My Fiance and I got together at the age of 19 as well and we are 23 now. We do have children so that probably adds a few years! Anyways I have struggled with him staying out later than I would like or going out with friends that I don’t really approve of..  We have just recently been able to get to a point where he makes sure to check in and I try not to call him constantly which is a struggle for me. But what you said ahout only getting one life and being able to live it the way you want is true.  I guess my issue is just insecurity from a previous relationship, but being that way can definitely push a man away.  There should definitely be boundaries but not enough to where it feels like a prison sentence. As far as Girls Gone Wild, I would NOT be okay with that at all.  As many previous posters have said the things that go on there are not appropriate for a married man.  I would just be honest with him and let him know why you feel uncomfortable with the situation, I would also address the issue of name calling because that is not fighting fair.  Hugs to you!!! Hope it all works out!

Post # 13
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yeah, I think it’s a little inappropriate for a married man. I mean,maybe on his bachelor party if anything but not while you are sitting at home with the baby. Sorry this is goign to sound mean, but it sounds kind of pathetic to me actually. LIke he is clearly disrespecting his life with you that HE built. I don’t mind if my husband goes to teh occasional strip club on a friends bachelor party, but this is more serious, it’s real unprofessional girls getting drunk and being wild. If I were one of those girls I would be weirded out by a married man being present.

Post # 14
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Tell him you think going to see it is a great idea…then hand him the baby, give him a kiss and thank him for suggesting this idea. Then go get yourself a mani/ pedi and grab a glass of wine.

I would take it one step further and buy the video and give it to him when I got home.

Post # 15
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i think it’s ok for him to go if you were ok with it. which you’re obviously not, so he needs to respect that.

Post # 16
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

No way! That would not be ok with me at all, and I don’t think you are overreacting. I think his reaction to you is inappropriate and I would not allow my husband to speak to me that way, he’s be sleeping on the couch for sure. I am a toughy with this stuff, as his he. Stand up for yourself. Nobody deserves to be treated that way by the man who loves her.

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