- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 1993
will PM you 😉
will PM you 😉
I would suggest different positions to see what works best for you 🙂
Though I will say that I can only orgasm during actual intercourse once in awhile – I have yet to figure out what causes me to or not to (time of the month, etc), but it can certainly be frustraing when Fiance is all worried because I didn’t ‘get there’ before him! He usually helps afterward though so it all works out 😉
@dayplanner: I’m sorry to disagree here but the majority of women never orgasm from intercourse alone. This has nothing to do with a man’s size. This is a huge fallacy that causes a lot of women to feel inadequate. Women orgasm from clitoral stimulation and the clitoris has internal and external components. Some women may only need penetration to adequately stimulate to internal components, but a very high of perfectly normal women need external stim as well.
It was amazing from the very first time till now…i’m not married yet but we were eachothers first and honestly the best time ever was our first time. I think because it was the rush of emotions and it was the first being intimate in such a way. Even now its great because we’re comfortable with eachother and we have so much fun. ALWAYS keep in mind that everyone’s different. It works differently for each couple 🙂
@maggiemay0811: Not at all! Even people who have had multiple sexual experiences have to learn what works with a new partner. Sometimes that can take months and it’s sad that so many couples put pressure on themselves to have magical sex from the get-go. As a women, you need to learn your own body and what it needs to orgasm. You bring this knowledge to your bed with your spouse. He doesn’t have your parts and you don’t have his. You have to teach each other. Exploring what works for each other is part of the crazy fun of sex with someone you love. You should both have plenty of enjoyment, and if one person isn’t, neither will the other person. That’s one of the differences between sex with anyone and sex with someone you love.
@GreenEyedMoon: Oh no no no! Everyone can do this! You need to spend some good quality time with your body alone and figure out how to make this happen. How can your husband be happy unless you’re coming too?? Lots of great books, websites :www.goodinbed.com. It’s also nearly impossible to not have an orgasm with a well-placed vibrator. If you’re too embarrassed to buy one, order on online – it’ll come plainly wrapped and no one will know but you! http://www.drugstore.com
Once you find out to make yourself respond, your hubby will be happy to watch so he can learn, too. You can do this! You owe it to yourself and him to learn your body and find that response.
@lorie: This. If you keep trying new things and learning about what each others likes and dislikes, your sex life will become more satisfying. But satisfying does not necessarily equal having an orgasm from intercourse alone and there is *nothing* wrong with that.
Good info here from @lorie:
As another “mature” woman I have to say that here advice is “right on the money”
Only a very small percentage of women can orgasm from Intercourse (25% or less) … this is WHY foreplay is so important… it not only “warms” us gals up, but it is the way that most of us cum (that old polite saying… Ladies First)
The occasional woman will find she able is orgasm if the guy can find / hit her G-spot (seems not all women are sensitive in this way)… those that are, report that the best bet is to be taken from behind
On the otherhand, there are aprox 10 to 15% of the population, who are unable to orgasm at all… (although this number represents ALL cases PRIOR to further exploration / treatment)
Medical studies, say that this really is more of a “mind” issue than a physical one (sex is dirty) and with counselling, self-fulfillment and a gentle understanding partner there is hope (sort of the same stuff that goes into aiding men who have issues with ED)
As a mature woman (over 50) who has lived thru a lot of life and sex, and I can say that the best advice is educate yourself… read alot, explore a lot (by yourself and with your partner) and don’t be afraid to get some counselling (couples or sexual) if need be.
Having a life without sex (I was in a pretty much non-sexual relationship for a good portion of my marriage) is CHEATING YOURSELF out of a good part of life… Sex is an important part of a Relationship… do what needs to be done to make it the best it can be.
It took almost a year and a half for sex to be awesome for us. And it’s not because we waited, it’s because Nuvaring pretty much killed any desire I ever had to have sex. Now that I’ve stopped it, it’s awesome. I still don’t have an orgasm from intercourse, but I don’t really see it as a goal anyway.
Anyway, we usually solve this problem by him getting his first, then me. As far as it being umcofortable, foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! Longer than you think you need it. It makes a huge difference.
Honestly– about 9 months to a year. It takes some time to learn eachother and to explore what you both like and don’t.
Not sure what the meds are, but they can certainly be having an effect.
I would recommend you guys explore different things, and most importantly be HONEST with him about what you like and don’t.
If you were a virgin beforehand it can take a while to loosen up, but it’ll come– and as for needing more than intercorse to get “all the way”, that’s pretty normal too. I’ve known girls who NEVER orgasm from sex alone, it’s all about finding what works for you. No matter how much you love eachother, there is a certain point where it’s purely physical, and it’s finding those physical sensations that work for you.
Sorry, I haven’t read all the comments, but, if you’d really like to orgasm during intercourse, external stimulation during is very helpful.
@SimplyChic11: I didn’t wait but my husband is bigger slightly than your husband and I’m definitely more on the petite side, so we were a huge mis-match. Really, as long as we have lots of foreplay, sex was amazing right from the start. I usually have at least two orgasms. However, we also do external stimulation when we’re having sex. Without going into Too Much Information, if he or you stimulate you while he’s inside of you, I can’t imagine it would take you a long time to get to “amazing sex”.
You really need to explore your body with your husband and without, to know what sets you off. Also, don’t set yourself up for disappointment by thinking most women orgasm from straight up “P in the V”, because that’s rarely the case.
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