(Closed) Give FSIL a “congratulations” card when I wasn’t invited to wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would you send a card if you were deliberately left off the guest list?
    No, if they can't extend me an invite, I won't extend my congratulations. : (35 votes)
    12 %
    No, because it will look pathetic. : (14 votes)
    5 %
    Yes, because I want to establish a good relationship with FSIL : (153 votes)
    53 %
    Yes, because killing with kindness is a good way to go! : (88 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I think that, if you have a good relationship with her, you should send a card, or at the very least sign the card from your SO. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee

    kill with kindness most definately. I am assuming your Fiance was invited, is this super intimate wedding? It seems strange to leave off a Fiance, but I guess I don’t know the situation.

    I say send a super cute card with a lovely message inside and hope she hangs it on her fridge when Future Mother-In-Law goes over.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    You don’t break up units like BF/GF, H/W when invinting to weddings.  That’s is just awful that they did that. 

     

    So they really invited your SO but not you? 

     

    I’d send a card to be the better person. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

     In the end these thing are always going to happen, and it is clear you SO is going to still be involved with his family. At this point you need decide if you want to attempt to be a part of thier lives or stick with the ultimatum he gave his family. If your FI really is going without you, I would send a card with him from ALL of you.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee

    People are horrible.  If there’s no hard feelings between you and your Future Sister-In-Law, I’d send her a card with BOTH your name and your SO’s.  

    For some, parents are hard to stand up to, especially if they’re paying for the wedding in some way or other, so take this with a grain of salt and be the bigger person!

    Post # 9
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Ouch. I’d still give her a card though. It’s the parents who are being silly, not her, 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t think making her a card or signing the one from her brother will make it look like you are seeking her approval. If anything I think it makes you look classy and show that you are able to rise above and be the better person. In this case, I think killing with kindness wins. If anything it will remind them about how rude they were not to invite you.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Ouch. Yes I’d send a card for sure though. Let the family know who the bigger person is. Your heart is in the right place.

    Post # 13
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Just send a card with him for the both of you. Take the high road especially if you and your Future Sister-In-Law have a good relationship. Showing her support now may encourage her to continue to be in your corner for future issues.

    Post # 14
    Member
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I think since she is on good terms with you, should at least send her a card.  And like you said, their parents are paying for the wedding, it might be out of her control as well. 

     

     

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    1400 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yeah, I’d send the card since it’s not her fault her parents are wackos (I’ve read your other posts, I know they are!)

    How’s it going with your SO’s cancer treatment??

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