Give me hope..or a reality check..

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
7422 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It sounds like AF to me but who knows. I’ve definitely had periods wrap up after 1.5 days, and others last 5-6 days. I also frequently have a period that will “hibernate” for a day only to resurrect itself the next day for a last hoorah. It’s all in the range of normal.

I’m getting the impression that you are not someone who can go into TTC casually. I was the same way, and I found that temping and using OPKs actually helped my anxiety because it took a lot of the guess work out. By knowing exactly when I ovulated, I knew for sure whether we’d had good timing or not that cycle. I also had an idea of when I could start testing and have any hope of getting an accurate result, and I knew when AF would actually be “late.” Something to consider for the future if this isn’t your cycle!

Post # 4
72 posts
Worker bee

I agree with PP. I would definitely recommend using an ovulation test. I’ve used them personally and have also recommended them to friends… I’m a firm believer they work from the results I’ve seen!! Sorry, I’m not sure about the bleeding as I’ve never experienced that, but if you want to know exactly when you are ovulating I would invest in the testing kits. It’s so much easier than guess work based on your cycles. Best wishes!!

Post # 5
1993 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I was temping and pinpointed ovulation and timed sex right the first month of temping. Boom pregnant. I would just not tell him, however, when you temp you do need take it as soon as you wake up before moving or anything. I did every morning same time and it beeps when it’s ready. Dh knew I was temping so if he heard it no big deal. If you don’t want your husband to know maybe try OPKs that you can keep tucked away. To add, you can’t depend on how “regular” your cycles are because even month to month your ovulation day can change and you can miss it if you’re basing it off prior months. If you’re this obsessed and you’re only on the first cycle you definitely need to temp or OPK.

Post # 6
10306 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You can do the science stuff without him. When you wake up – temp and track it in a app. Make sure you read up on temping so you do it correctly. We tried for 10 months, 1 1/2 months after I started temping we got pregnant so in the future I would start temping right out the gate. 

I would say you’re likely not pregnant this go round. But that’s okay, not everyone can get pregnant the first try. If you don’t know when you’re ovulating for certain then you have to way of knowing if you’re testing too early. But the rule of thumb is if you’re having symptoms/late/etc that you would have enough hormones in your system for a positive test. 

Post # 7
7579 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not saying that all men want to be kept in the dark or aren’t interested, but I know at least in my circle that they don’t want TTC to feel like a chore. And for those of us who were at it a long time…we can tell you that it does in fact start to feel that way. You don’t seem like the ideal candidate for “lets just see what happens”. For that reason I would maybe temp and use some OPK’s while tracking your cycle and everything in an app, but keep it to yourself. 

Personally the only thing I shared with my husband was a screenshot of my app each month that showed my fertile window. He travels a lot for work and after a year of trying we basically were doing everything in our power to work it so we were together during those windows.

Post # 8
7422 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Yeah, if your husband doesn’t want to get all sciencey yet then just do the temping and OPKs on the D/L for now. A lot of guys are like this. I think as women though since it’s happening to our bodies, it’s only natural for us to be more obsessive!

Post # 9
4230 posts
Honey bee

I’m the exact same way. I can not “casually TTC” or just wait to see what happens. I also recommend using at least OPKs so you have a bit more certainty about when you’re fertile which gives you more of a sense of control.

Post # 10
864 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
maybeee :  look in to Tempdrop maybe if you aren’t wanting the tracking to feel so intrusive? It’s an armband you wear when you sleep that tracks your temperature and is synced to your phone through an app so takes a lot of the work out of tracking. 

Post # 11
367 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
maybeee :  30-40 days is not super regular, that’s a 10 day variation in your cycle, which could shift your ovulation around drastically! I would use OPK’s and temping to try and pinpoint your ovulation, and see why you have so much variation in your cycle, and whether or not your lutheal phase changes. Although this is uncommon, it is quite common with thyroid issues. It took my DH and I 14 cycles to get pregnant (now 22 weeks), and it was because I have an underlying thyroid issue, once that was fixed we were pregnant within 3 cycles. I had no thyroid disease symptoms either, my GP just wanted to make sure. I found temping and OPKs were super helpful in pinpointing my ovulation. I set an alarm on my fitbit to wake me to temp at the same time everyday and then would just roll over an go back to sleep. 

Also you may get really tired after a few cycles of TTC. My DH and i just couldn’t have sex every other day for weeks on end, it became exhausting. The OPKs give you a really good idea (within the next 48 hours you will ovulate to get at it). Best of luck to you! 

Post # 12
907 posts
Busy bee

30-40 days is not a regular cycle at all. As people before me have said, in order to nail down when you ovulate month-to-month, I would really look into OPKs or temping.

BDing that frequently is going to get really old, really fast. These things will also help you find your fertile week so that you two don’t got worn down on BDing.

Post # 13
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
maybeee :  30-40 days is a huge spread. My cycles while TTC were 29-30 days. I never did temping but I tracked my CM which helped me figure out my fertile window. It is pretty simple to do. It is really hard to say whether you are having implantation bleeding or not. I never had any. My only inclination that I was pregnant was that my boobs were incredibly tender for about 1 week leading up to AF was due and I just felt weird. Can’t really describe it. I am now 12 weeks. 

It is also entirely possible that you are testing too early given the large variation in your cycle. 

Post # 15
2498 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

It doesn’t sound like you’re pregnant, I’m assuming you had AF. Also, stress can impact your cycle so that might be why your cycle was wonky this round. 

I would recommend trying OPK’s next cycle. I think it’s important to acknowledge it can take even a healthy couple with perfect timing up to a year to concieve. It might not happen right away. 

I wouldn’t consider your cycle normal honestly. 30-40 days is a big window and 40 days is definitely on the longer end. Your ovulation could be greatly affected by that so it’s probably best to track somehow (OPK, temp, etc) so you actually know when your window is. 

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