Post # 1
Hello again Bees. I feel like a pest posting yet again. But I just need to talk to someone..anyone.. As you may remember, my husband and I have only been ttc for one cycle and I’m already losing my mind to symptom spotting. I feel guilty for being so obsessive so early when I know how many women have been struggling much longer than I can imagine. I’m just desperate right now to hear more stories of the maybes that turned into babies.
I am not temping or anything so not exactly sure when my ovulation window is. My cycles are regular-ish, every 30-40 days, they last around 6 days (heavy the first 2). So my last cycle started April 30, ended May 5. We did the deed pretty consistently, every other day or so, for about three weeks after. I got what I believed was my period yesterday, June 8. Not heavy but not light. Then this morning it was down to light spotting. As of this evening it’s looking gone. This hasn’t ever happened to me. I am not on any medication and haven’t been on hormonal birth control for over 5 years. I’ve taken multiple tests leading up to yesterday, as recently as June 6, and they’ve all been negative (excluding what seems to have been a defective one I previously posted about). I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing could be implantation bleeding…? Have I been testing too early? Has anyone else gotten a regular looking period for just a day and ended up pregnant?
I know no one can give me a definitive answer for what’s going on, but I appreciate the solidarity I find here. Thanks for listening.
Post # 2
It sounds like AF to me but who knows. I’ve definitely had periods wrap up after 1.5 days, and others last 5-6 days. I also frequently have a period that will “hibernate” for a day only to resurrect itself the next day for a last hoorah. It’s all in the range of normal.
I’m getting the impression that you are not someone who can go into TTC casually. I was the same way, and I found that temping and using OPKs actually helped my anxiety because it took a lot of the guess work out. By knowing exactly when I ovulated, I knew for sure whether we’d had good timing or not that cycle. I also had an idea of when I could start testing and have any hope of getting an accurate result, and I knew when AF would actually be “late.” Something to consider for the future if this isn’t your cycle!
Post # 3
I suspect your suggestion is spot on. Since my husband finally gave the green light to start trying of course I’m even more of a maniac about it than I was while waiting to start. When I told him I wanted to get a thermometer he said he wants to try without all the sciencey stuff first 🙄 ..but perhaps I should just do it for myself and not stress him with the details..
Post # 4
I agree with PP. I would definitely recommend using an ovulation test. I’ve used them personally and have also recommended them to friends… I’m a firm believer they work from the results I’ve seen!! Sorry, I’m not sure about the bleeding as I’ve never experienced that, but if you want to know exactly when you are ovulating I would invest in the testing kits. It’s so much easier than guess work based on your cycles. Best wishes!!
Post # 5
I was temping and pinpointed ovulation and timed sex right the first month of temping. Boom pregnant. I would just not tell him, however, when you temp you do need take it as soon as you wake up before moving or anything. I did every morning same time and it beeps when it’s ready. Dh knew I was temping so if he heard it no big deal. If you don’t want your husband to know maybe try OPKs that you can keep tucked away. To add, you can’t depend on how “regular” your cycles are because even month to month your ovulation day can change and you can miss it if you’re basing it off prior months. If you’re this obsessed and you’re only on the first cycle you definitely need to temp or OPK.
Post # 6
You can do the science stuff without him. When you wake up – temp and track it in a app. Make sure you read up on temping so you do it correctly. We tried for 10 months, 1 1/2 months after I started temping we got pregnant so in the future I would start temping right out the gate.
I would say you’re likely not pregnant this go round. But that’s okay, not everyone can get pregnant the first try. If you don’t know when you’re ovulating for certain then you have to way of knowing if you’re testing too early. But the rule of thumb is if you’re having symptoms/late/etc that you would have enough hormones in your system for a positive test.
Post # 7
I’m not saying that all men want to be kept in the dark or aren’t interested, but I know at least in my circle that they don’t want TTC to feel like a chore. And for those of us who were at it a long time…we can tell you that it does in fact start to feel that way. You don’t seem like the ideal candidate for “lets just see what happens”. For that reason I would maybe temp and use some OPK’s while tracking your cycle and everything in an app, but keep it to yourself.
Personally the only thing I shared with my husband was a screenshot of my app each month that showed my fertile window. He travels a lot for work and after a year of trying we basically were doing everything in our power to work it so we were together during those windows.
Post # 8
Yeah, if your husband doesn’t want to get all sciencey yet then just do the temping and OPKs on the D/L for now. A lot of guys are like this. I think as women though since it’s happening to our bodies, it’s only natural for us to be more obsessive!
Post # 9
I’m the exact same way. I can not “casually TTC” or just wait to see what happens. I also recommend using at least OPKs so you have a bit more certainty about when you’re fertile which gives you more of a sense of control.
Post # 10
look in to Tempdrop maybe if you aren’t wanting the tracking to feel so intrusive? It’s an armband you wear when you sleep that tracks your temperature and is synced to your phone through an app so takes a lot of the work out of tracking.
Post # 11
30-40 days is not super regular, that’s a 10 day variation in your cycle, which could shift your ovulation around drastically! I would use OPK’s and temping to try and pinpoint your ovulation, and see why you have so much variation in your cycle, and whether or not your lutheal phase changes. Although this is uncommon, it is quite common with thyroid issues. It took my DH and I 14 cycles to get pregnant (now 22 weeks), and it was because I have an underlying thyroid issue, once that was fixed we were pregnant within 3 cycles. I had no thyroid disease symptoms either, my GP just wanted to make sure. I found temping and OPKs were super helpful in pinpointing my ovulation. I set an alarm on my fitbit to wake me to temp at the same time everyday and then would just roll over an go back to sleep.
Also you may get really tired after a few cycles of TTC. My DH and i just couldn’t have sex every other day for weeks on end, it became exhausting. The OPKs give you a really good idea (within the next 48 hours you will ovulate to get at it). Best of luck to you!
Post # 12
30-40 days is not a regular cycle at all. As people before me have said, in order to nail down when you ovulate month-to-month, I would really look into OPKs or temping.
BDing that frequently is going to get really old, really fast. These things will also help you find your fertile week so that you two don’t got worn down on BDing.
Post # 13
30-40 days is a huge spread. My cycles while TTC were 29-30 days. I never did temping but I tracked my CM which helped me figure out my fertile window. It is pretty simple to do. It is really hard to say whether you are having implantation bleeding or not. I never had any. My only inclination that I was pregnant was that my boobs were incredibly tender for about 1 week leading up to AF was due and I just felt weird. Can’t really describe it. I am now 12 weeks.
It is also entirely possible that you are testing too early given the large variation in your cycle.
Post # 14
Thank you everyone for the thoughtful responses. I’m glad no one thinks I’m neurotic for thinking I should temp on the DL. And it’s comforting to know that my husband isn’t the only one who doesn’t want to talk about it like a super serious mission every day. This morning I had a very full on period, so not this time. But I will finally let myself enjoy a drink today. And I’ll definitely be looking for an OPK for the next cycle.
Post # 15
It doesn’t sound like you’re pregnant, I’m assuming you had AF. Also, stress can impact your cycle so that might be why your cycle was wonky this round.
I would recommend trying OPK’s next cycle. I think it’s important to acknowledge it can take even a healthy couple with perfect timing up to a year to concieve. It might not happen right away.
I wouldn’t consider your cycle normal honestly. 30-40 days is a big window and 40 days is definitely on the longer end. Your ovulation could be greatly affected by that so it’s probably best to track somehow (OPK, temp, etc) so you actually know when your window is.