Post # 1
My fiancé and I had an appointment today to see our #1 choice venue and the venue’s event coordinator did not even show up. Basically we sat around for 30 minutes until the doorman was able to get her on the phone. She was apologetic, admitted that she forgot to add our appointment to her calendar, and told us to look around ourselves, which obviously did not compare to having someone who knows the space explain to us how the event would flow.
Under normal circumstances it would be annoying but forgivable, but we had to travel 2.5 hours to get there (we live in NYC but are planning our wedding in Philadelphia because both sets of parents and a lot of our extended family lives in the area) and we had both sets of parents there.
Earlier in the day we had all toured a venue that was, by all accounts, absolutely lovely but 1) totally different than what I was looking for, and 2) fully booked in our preferred season for both 2018 and 2019. Our parents were all really bullish on the venue we saw earlier in the day and they kept clucking about how it was a bad sign that the coordinator did not show up at the 2nd venue (which I agree with.)
Because we’re planning from a different city, I can’t just pop down to check out venues during the day and I obviously can’t plan anything else until we book the venue. We’ve seen 4 places and while they’ve all been nice in their own way, none of them have given me the feeling that “this is the place”. I’m feeling a lot of pressure to just book something. Everyone keeps telling me “it’s your wedding, do what you want” in a way that very obviously means there will be consequences for doing what I want.
I don’t really know what I should do from here- book a venue that is nice but not something I love, give the top choice venue another chance, or just keep making my way down the list.
Post # 2
When you did a quick look at this venue, did you fall in love and still love it as much as you thought? If so, I’d give it another chance. She seemed extremely apologetic which is a good sign at least. I would explain your situation and politely demand that she make availability for you during the weekend or a time that works for you since she caused you such an inconvenience the first time around. If something similar happens the second time, or she isn’t accommodating when you request another date, then I’d move on and find someplace different.
Post # 3
Honestly when I was planning if anyone pulled something like this or even remotely close like got the date of my wedding wrong or something they were off my vendor list completely.
Post # 4
How much did you love the venue with the coordinator who didn’t show?
Idk, our bakery accidently forgot to book us (thankfully they still had the date open when I found out) and they came through perfectly on our wedding date. Our DJ on the other hand was very responsive, the perfect vendor up until he dropped off the face of the earth a week before the wedding and we had to find a last minute replacement. So honestly, it’s all a crap shoot, something can always go wrong.
Maybe talk to the coordinator about your concerns? She if she can ease them?
Post # 5
That’s kind of what I was leaning towards. The thing I was the most disappointed about today was that I really did still love the venue and didn’t want to have to cross it off my list. I do think I’m going to have to keep searching as well, just in case this really is how she is.
Post # 6
im a forgiving person, i would check out the 1st venue again and meet with the coordinator if possible. i would be a bit extra and reach out to her a few time to confirm my appointment. dont settle but also dont look back in time and feel like u had a chance
Post # 7
great point- it really is just a crapshoot. I definitely liked that venue the best of all we’d seen (well, that’s not entirely true. We saw another one that I really loved but it would have been way too tight with our guest list). I would hate to walk away from it over this, but I do know that it’s going to be a lot harder for the coordinator to win over my mom and FMIL this than it will be to win me over.
Post # 8
I would arrange to meet the coordinator again in person and do another walk through with her. See how she is in person.
If she seems to know her stuff and very switched on in person, I’d give it another chance. If you’re still not happy with her you can safely cross it off the list.
Post # 9
Ok so now my Future Mother-In-Law has told my fiance to “talk me out of” the venue I wanted (the one where the coordinator did not show up) and my mom is also strongly pressuring me to go with the other venue we saw this weekend (the one that was not really what I was looking for). I’m wondering if it’s worth it to keep fighting for my vision or just have the wedding everyone else seems to want.
Post # 10
Id be inclined to cross them off the list and it would make me nervous to continue working with her, but if you really love the place – check out the reviews. Are there negative reviews? Do they mention the coordinator? Does it seem like things fall through the cracks?
If you dont find anything too bad, i would proceed with the place you love.
Post # 11
I had a similar experience, but with a caterer. Their food looked amazing, they’d worked at my venue before, I love how it was plated, they provided everything, etc. They missed multiple phone meetings, wouldn’t email back for weeks at a time, lost our original quote, had their car broken into and all their previous notes “stolen”, etcetcetc. It was like pulling teeth to try and get ANYTHING. I ended up emailing them a thanks for your time but we’re going with another vendor. Then, like 2 months later I get another email like “hey just wanted to follow up if you still need a quote. I just found this email” or something. Like WTF!
This lady was so flaky she didn’t even show up – how bad is the rest of the planning going to be? You are looking at it the wrong way – no one is pushing you to have a wedding THEY want, they are looking at it realistically that planning with this person is going to be a logistical nightmare.
Post # 12
That’s a fair point. It’s kind of like a first date or a job interview- if you don’t impress when you’re supposed to be on your best behavior, you sure won’t when the check has already been cut.
Post # 14
Beeee!!! I feel you. Our venue is really a diy thing. When we first checked it out we hung out outside for about 10 minutes waiting to be let it. We ended up booking it cause it was cheap. I regret it now. My Fi thinks it’ll be fine. I do not. It’s really not worth the anxiety it causes to work with someone flaky. Find somewhere else!!