(Closed) Given grief for not attending a bridal shower

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you can’t attend, you can’t attend and you mark no on the rsvp. No one has the right to be so rude as to guilt trip you for not attending. If the bride is not willing to understand this and demands anyway, then she has issues to get over and your FH should not be harassed either.

Post # 5
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012


The gift is a nice gesture i would take it as she wanted to come but couldn’t however she did go out of her way and time to get me sometime.

Post # 6
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I wouldn’t attend – nor do I understand how your attending will make your FI’s life easier.  

Post # 7
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Jeez, I had close friends who couldn’t attend my shower, and I was fine with it! People have lives.

Post # 8
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

One of J’s best friends has been with his gf for almost five years. We don’t really have any mutual friends, but I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor to invite her to my bachelorette – and I was super excited when she said she would come!

I guess it’s not so much that I felt like she needed to, I was just hoping she would want to. Afterall, J is really close with her bf, and I consider her a “pre-friend”, if that makes sense. I’m excited to get to know her better!

That said, we don’t live in the same city that they do, so I haven’t had opportunities to hang out with her apart from a few group dates over the years, so the situation is a little different. BUT don’t totally discredit her – she probably just wants to get to know you better!

Post # 9
516 posts
Busy bee

Send a gift and go on about your business.  Don’t go, and don’t feel badly about not going.

An invitation is not an obligation or contract.  People suck all the fun out of celebrations with petty expectations.  If someone is invited to something and she is free and wants to go, she should go.  If she is not free/does not want to go, she should not.

I’d opine differently if this was your sister, but since she isn’t, don’t feel badly!


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