Post # 1
I am a bridesmaid in an upcoming, very expensive wedding. So far we (the bridesmaids) have thrown her a bridal shower and three night out-of-town bachelorette party. Ever since she got engaged I have been the one saying, “let’s set a budget, let’s bring this down a notch.” I would say I have paid about $1200 (dress/alterations/shoes/bridal shower/bachelorette party/two nights at the inn for the wedding) for this wedding so far. Am I expected to give a gift? I don’t have a lot of money and the only reason I haven’t stepped down is because it’s my best friend. I was going to just write her a heart felt card for the big day. Do you all think it would be expected to give more? The only reason I’m asking is because I got wind that another bridesmaid was giving a nice gift and I was shocked.
Post # 2
For me it depends on the wedding.
I always give a gift, unless its a Destination Wedding.
I don’t expect a gift from any of my BM’s, and they have been made aware of this. Them spending the day with us is our gift.
Post # 3
My Bridesmaid or Best Man gave me a scrap book of us while we were getting ready and it was the best thing ever! I tried to keep everything low cost, but it was still a domestic Destination Wedding and 100% did not expect a gift. it was so thoughtful and she left extra pages in the back so we could add the professional photos in afterwards.
Post # 4
So it sounds like neither of you expected a gift? That’s all I’m worried about, the expectation. I understand I can get a gift on top of everything, I just wanted to make sure it’s not some wedding faux pas not to. Thanks for responding!
Post # 5
No. I definitely don’t expect a gift. Honestly, I think it’s pretty typical for bridal parties to not give gifts. At least in my area. (midwest, US)
Post # 6
I didn’t expect any gifts from my bridal party, I would have felt absolutely awful if they felt the need to give me a present! Did you give a gift at the shower? I think you’re good. If you feel like you *must* I would give something very very small but I personally feel the card is fine. $1200 is a LOT already!
Post # 7
I personally would try to find something 15-20$ that was cute or sentimental (or even a bottle of wine/champagne from their wedding year for them to drink on their 1st/5th/10th anniversary) along with a heartfelt card just to not show up empty-handed. But I definitely don’t think it is expected of you at this point!
Post # 8
I always give a gift. It can be something heartfelt but not pricey. When I was younger, I was in some weddings when I was broke. I got a simple gift for the couple. I think one time I probably got the cheapest thing on the registry, but I figure it is the thought that counts!!! (I was a poor college student at the time.)
Post # 9
I didn’t expect a gift from our wedding party. They did all end up getting us something small but it wasn’t expected at all!