Post # 1
Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
I’m giving all of my bridesmaids a nice handwritten note, a coverup/dress to wear while getting ready, earrings to wear for the wedding, and personal presents for each girl (some will get jewelry I picked out, others spa gift certificates, others a mix). I can give the items all together or I can separate the wedding-related presents from the personal presents.
For the ladies who’ve gone above and beyond (planning/hosting bach party or bridal shower, etc.), I’m giving them more, so it’s either an extra gift or their gift/piece of jewelry is more expensive.
Part of me wants our photographer to capture the moment as each girl opens her gift (I’ve really tricked a bunch of them and gotten things they love but they have no clue I’m getting them), but then I also wonder if it’d be better to give the gifts at different times so they aren’t all together when they open their personalized presents (as some will receive more – numerically or financially).
How should I handle this? Take each bridesmaid to the side (we’ll be in a suite) to separately give her her present and note on the day of? That way we can have a minute for just the 2 of us and the photog can capture the moment without anybody getting jealous of other bridesmaids’ presents?
Or am I overly worried and the bridesmaids will know that some ladies are getting more because they did more and there won’t be any jealousy or hurt feelings?
Post # 3
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
@Shkragoldfish: Maybe give the standard gift to them all together, and the extra gift at a more private time?
Post # 4
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
@Shkragoldfish: Of my bridal party, it really is just my sister (MOH) doing the planning. My other girls are great but it just worked out this way naturally.
I plan on getting each girl something personalized. The gifts won’t all be the exact same amount but in the general range of each other. For my sister though, Fiance and I want to give her a really beautiful pair of earrings that cost much more than the other gifts.
I plan to have some private sister time with her in the morning, just the two of us so I’ll give it to her then.
I think that giving the regular gifts in a group is just fine but I would do the ‘above and beyond’ gifts’ privately.
Post # 5
Member
1558 posts
Bumble bee
@Shkragoldfish: Personally, I would give the gifts for hosting showers, etc right at the end of the shower. That is the appropriate time to give those gifts.
As far as giving gifts with everyone around, unless you’re giving them the same value, I’d keep it personal, and away from photos.
Post # 6
Member
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
I don’t think it is ever a great idea to do group gift giving if the value of those gifts are different. Especially a group of bridesmaids. Also, your photographer is quite likely to catch rather different expressions to those that you might be expecting and hoping for if they twig that some of them have been favoured with rather nicer and more expensive presents!
So I’d give them all the “standard” gift and give the extra ones privately on a one-to-one basis. That makes your gesture all the nicer and more personal.
Post # 6
Member
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
UPDATE: turns out that I was overthinking this. I’d already given my Maid/Matron of Honor her special present months earlier. Then, by the time I was giving my bridesmaids their gifts, we were all busy getting ready and doing our own thing & they all were getting so many things at the same time that nobody even had time to notice or care who got what. and some of them knew that I’d helped them with the cost of their dress or the room or had already gotten them other presents for other parts of pre-wedding events. We also didn’t do it as some special photographed moment and I didn’t sit there watching their expression. I gave each girl her bag and we kept getting ready. I gave each a maxi skirt/dress to wear while getting ready, earrings to wear for the wedding, and individualized presents- some had 6 smaller presents, some 1 or 2 medium-priced presents, or one small but expensive present. Nobody felt left out or not special.
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