(Closed) “Giving” the bride away

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Are you having an escort? Is someone giving you away?
    Yes to both : (42 votes)
    42 %
    Yes to escort, no to giving me away : (31 votes)
    31 %
    No to escort, yes to giving me away : (6 votes)
    6 %
    No to both : (20 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    It’s not necessary.  In some cultures the B & G walk down the aisle together at the beginning.  Do what feels right to you.

    I’ll be walked down by my dad and possibly my mom.  I don’t want to walk by myself. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I didn’t want to be “given away” for feminist reasons, but my mom told me how much it meant to my dad, so I’m caving. I’m all for not doing it, though!

    Post # 5
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m an only child and I think it would mean a lot to my dad to walk me down the aisle, especially because I lost my mom 10 years ago and she would have been having so much fun during this whole wedding planning process. I think her absence will be heavy in the room – like, she would have been the type to say, I’M giving you away, not your dad…! Ha. I just think it’ll mean a lot to him to be the one who walks me down the aisle.

    At the same time, I’m a feminist and although I’ve been embracing a lot of old traditions (albeit putting a modern spin on them!), I don’t like the language “giving me away.” I will be two weeks from turning 30 at the ceremony and am not changing my name and am thinking of using this language at the end (totally stealing it from a friend’s ceremony!): “You may now kiss each other.” I think it’s sort of a strange custom. I want him to stand with me, but it’s not like I’m a piece of property he’s handing over to another man, you know? We all are part of the same family and will continue to be be in each other’s lives… 

    Rambling. Anyway. I voted for option 2!

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I will be walking down the aisle with my fiance.  It’s unconventional but for us it’s absolutely the perfect thing to do.  I’m very close with my father but also very nontraditional, so he didn’t feel snubbed by it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m glad my dad walked me down the aisle because i kept tripping on the front of my dress and i held onto him for dear life! The judge didn’t say anything about “giving away” he just walked my to my spot and joined the guests.

     

    @noodlesploosh: i don’t like that giving permission to kiss either- we had the judge say “please seal your union with a kiss”

    Post # 9
    Member
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Has anyone done a double “give-away”? Both your parents and your FI’s parents at the beginning of the ceremony? That seems like an interesting way to change things up.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I walked down the aisle with my dad and I guess he “gave me away” but I didnt really think of it like that….I just thought of it as my dad being there to support me in my last moments of being single before I married my husband. I loved walking down the aisle with my dad and then he shook my husband’s hand and said “Take care of her” and then we hugged and he walked to his seat. It was very special! I think you should do what you want and what is right for you, your family and your future husband!

    Post # 10
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @Statutory Grape: My friend with the “kiss each other” ceremony also walked down the aisle by herself! The groom walked up by himself first, then the BMs & GMs walked up in pairs, then the bride by herself. It was lovely.

    Post # 11
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    im a big girl and made this choice my self I dont need anyone walking me through it or giving permission,, eghhh lol

    Post # 12
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I changed the wording too. Like jo.lee, my feminist side came out & I didn’t want to be “given away” from one man to another. I love my daddy & my husband, but the wording wasn’t for me.

    So, I had both my parents walk me down the aisle. They both raised me, and are equally important, so I thought it was only fitting.

    My dad loved the idea (mainly bc he was nervous about having all the people looking at him.) But he also agreed that he would like my mom by my side also 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    2829 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    No giving away, no processional, no all eyes on me only me, no patriarchal hierarchy! I considered walking down an ‘aisle’ with my partner, but it isn’t as tempting an option as nixing the whole aisle is.

    I hope I don’t hurt my dad’s feelings, I’m his only daughter, and idek if him walking me down the aisle/’giving me away’ is a big deal to him or not.

    I kinda just plan on us ‘meeting’ at a designated spot and being like ‘go!’ hahah not really, obviously, it will be little more classy than that 😉

    Post # 14
    Member
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    I have been loved, cherished, protected, and valued by my family.  Being given away is the symbolic move from the family of my birth to the new family.  They are giving him the honor of loving, cherishing, protecting, and valuing me… as a wife and new family member.  To me the concept of being given away isn’t about feminism, but about family.  Your family who loves you is presenting you to be married to someone that you love.  They have raised you up to be the woman he loves… I’m definitely a Daddy’s girl and will be honored to have him walk me up the aisle and reply “Her mother and I do… ”  to the question at hand! 

    Post # 15
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @AnnieAAA: Sounds very sweet. I think this would have been my ideal situation… 

    The topic ‘“Giving” the bride away’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors