(Closed) Giving up on the idea of a wedding

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 18
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

You can extend your engagement too, which I know is not popular…but at least it will give you more time for saving money, if that is what you want.  Some of the other posters had great ideas…daytime weddings can be just as special, and way cheaper.  Scour this site for $$ saving ideas, there are so many smart and frugal bees on here!  My Fiance and I made a list at the beginning of planning, we picked the 2 things that were important to us…we both picked venue and food/drink.  That means, other things get done, but waaaay cheaper.  FOund a $200 dress, invites on sale, getting a grocery florist to do my flowers.  We funnelled most of our budget into the venue and our catering.

Start your list of things that are the most imp…the do some research into prices…that should tell you the budget.  THen you can decide how long it will take to save for it and pick your date. 

🙂

Post # 20
Member
41 posts
Newbee

I agree a lot with what other people have suggested, especially about sitting down to talk about a budget. Maybe lay out your dreams for him. Then make a list of the most important things and go from there. I wanted a gorgeous outdoor wedding, and by looking around I found that I could rent a shelter at the state park for about $80. To give you an idea we are going to have around 100 people and our total budget will fall around $5000, which includes everything. Your dream venue sounds amazing, but maybe look around, talk to people you know, and see what you can come up with. Good luck and keep your head up!

Oh and I just wanted to add that including your kids in your wedding is awesome. I was almost 2 years old when my parents got married, but I love looking at the pictures and seeing how happy we were! It was definitely memorable for me, as well as my parents!

 

Post # 21
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@impatientlywaiting20:  I was in the same boat. Weddings are expensive! I am from Boston but I am getting married in New Husband because it is cheaper. We were engaged in February but put off the wedding in order to save – if you set a realistic budget and stick to it, you can pull it off.

There are some places that I found where you can have the traditional wedding feel but in a non-traditional space…message me if you want to know some of the places I considered. You can do it!

Post # 22
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I hear you on the extension….makes sense!  I am getting married in March b/c the rates were lower, and almost booked a daytime wedding just because with the catering alone it was nearly half off!  I went to a day time wedding a few weeks ago and there was dancing.  The bride ran out onto the dancefloor and her friends followed, followed by others, including us .  It depends on the crowd too, if your friends and family are dancers, they’ll dance. Or if you tell your loved ones ahead of time how important it is to you, they’ll step up.

There was a bar!  They had mimosas, beer, wine, etc and I saw lots of people with drinks. I had 2 glasses of wine myself! When we were looking at daytime, I loved the ideas of mimosas, bloody mary’s and yummy brunch/lunch food.

Post # 23
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@strawbs:  Even better – it is for programming video games (his hobby). We can laugh at it on the boards, okay? I try to be very understanding IRL.

Post # 24
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@LucyLaLa: he should just get a desktop if he’s going to spend that kind of money on a computer. he can get a pretty darn sweet desktop for that kind of money.

Post # 25
Member
3073 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@impatientlywaiting20:  Here’s something to think about:

You can have anything you want. You just can’t have everything you want.

So figure out the essential “anythings” such as dress and bouquet and real china and cost them out.  A beautiful outdoor setting can be free. A small guest lists cuts down on the china.

But if your vision is so rigid that it it must be a particular thing,well–ok. Guess that you can’t afford it.

Post # 26
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@impatientlywaiting20:  You really just need to prioritize and budget.  What’s more important… a big guest list OR a better (read more expensive) venue?  Is good food more important than good music?  Can you go without flowers?  Just know you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  You will have to nix certain things in order to allocate your budget elsewhere. 

No matter what you decide you MUST keep in mind that a wedding is a party that lasts a day.  The marriage is the lifelong commitment and THAT is the most important part of the “big day.”  So in the long run, the dress, the food, the music, the photographer, the flowers, the rings, etc… they are all peripheral.  So don’t get bent out of shape over not having it just right, the way the you always envisioned it would be.

You can do a lot of beautiful DIY projects.  If you do an outdoor wedding you don’t need a ton of flowers (which are INSANELY expensive!!).  You can hire students to do photography or music… You have options.  Look into them before you throw your hands up and say “I give up!”  Nut up sister!  Make your wedding a reality!

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