Post # 1
My future in-laws are really great most of the time. We work together, vacation together, and get along just fine. Fiance and I originally planned to have a big traditional wedding, until we realized exactly how much it was going to cost us to have the wedding we wanted, and also how much stress it would be to pick every thing out, and also how neither one of us like to get dressed up, or be the center of attention. We booked our trip to Couples Swept Away in Jamaica, after explaining to our families that we planned on eloping and why. Everyone was ok with it… Until about 5 mins after we book.
Today at work FIs grandfather (my boss) came up to me and told me that he thought I should think of everyone else, and that eloping wasn’t the right thing to do, and that as a family we were going to talk about it over Thanksgiving dinner.
A) Who is getting married here…
B) We don’t need to have a family sit down about our wedding on a Holiday…
So when Fiance and I got home from work we talked about it and decided to go talk to his grandfather before Thanksgiving dinner, because we didn’t think that we needed to be ganged up on by the entire family on what is supposed to be a good day.
We explained every reason why we were choosing to elope, and he listened to all of them, then gave us a reason or solution to all of our concerns. Basically if we agree to get married here he is going to pay for all of it, and do all the booking/negotiating…
This situation is not so bad other than I feel like I have no control over my own day. I would so much rather it be me and Fiance on a beach with ourselves… I feel like in order to keep the peace I have no choice but to accept him paying for this big wedding we don’t want.
I may be slightly depressed.
Post # 3
@Miss Mitzie: I’m so sorry you are going through this. Maybe you can compromise with his family. What about you two eloping to Jamaica and then FI’s grandfather hosting a hometown reception? That way everyone can be happy?
P.S. Darling Husband and I just honeymooned in Jamaica, it was gorgeous.
Post # 4
I agree with the PP. I say elope in Jamaica, and have a hometown reception, that way everyone is still involved to some extent. Explaing to them that the finances are just too overwhelming to throw a big traditional wedding, and that this is really the best option.
Post # 5
I third the idea of a reception after the elopement. And by the way, I’ve been to Swept Away twice, and LOVE it!!! Enjoy!
Post # 6
Only because you said this FIRST “FI and I originally planned to have a big traditional wedding, until we realized exactly how much it was going to cost us to have the wedding we wanted” makes me suggest perhaps having your hometown wedding and then honeymooning in Jamaica?
Post # 7
@SapphireSun: I keep coming back to that too, and then I think about our reasoning for going to Jamaica.
- stress level of planning a wedding
- the fact that neither of us likes to be the center of attention
I think we are being smart. This would make us happy.
I feel like I am dreading my wedding day because it is turning into something about his family, and not about me and him.
Post # 8
Definitely agree with PP – hometown reception following elopement in Jamaica. Even though you initially thought you would go the traditional route, you also mentioned that everyone was ok with it until you set the Jamaica plan in motion. Along with this being YOUR day and what you want – this is the sticking point. Don’t give in now, because this may be just the beginning of being stepped on.