Post # 1
I’m gluten free and vegetarian. My boyfriend and I have three weddings on his side and one on my side to attend this summer. I have no issues asking my family about the menu at the reception but I’m not sure what to do about his family’s side. I will say he is so good about making sure I have things to eat when we visit his family. He calls ahead to find out what they are having and offers them ideas or we bring something to share. Very supportive! However the weddings on his side are for inviduals outside his immediate family. We have already discussed going out to eat before, in case there isn’t much for me and bringing a cooler so I have things to eat between the wedding and reception. I will add I have been gluten free since 2008 and am confident to ask about meal plans, but less likely with people I’ve yet to meet. Looking for suggestions on how you would or have handled this type of situation. Thanks!
Post # 2
I would ask if you could talk to their caterer. That way, you do the work of calling them and seeing what dishes are acceptable or asking if the chef can make sure your meal is gluten free. It’s easy for them to pass along their caterer’s information. Most places are really good about allergies.
I would have DH or his mom or whoever is closest to the family members and say, “Shutterbug has some allergy issues – could we get your caterer’s phone number so she can call to confirm that she is able to eat one of the entrees?” or something along those lines.
Personally, I would not want someone to not being able to eat at my wedding – even if it was a guest I didnt know very well.
Post # 3
Find the contact info for the bride or groom and just ask if they have gluten free food planned for the wedding. You’re not demanding that they add a gluten free option, but you’re just trying to plan ahead for yourself so that you can bring something yourself if needed. It sounds very reasonable. Hopefully, no one goes all bridezilla on you :).
Post # 4
I would assume that there won’t be Girlfriend food, and plan accordintly. Have a large, late lunch prior to the wedding and maybe take a few things you know you’ll be able to eat. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable bothering the couple with something like that.
Post # 5
I would contact the bride or groom. I want to know if any of my guests (or their plus ones) have special food requirements, and my caterer can accomodate pretty much any request except kosher, and even then they said they would get something from outside if we needed it. I bet most caterers are the same.
Post # 6
Did they have a spot on the invite for allergies/dietary restrictions? I am gf as well and it is sometimes tough. For me it’s only a sensitivity so i usually do t make a big deal and if i have to eat a little or go hungry i make my choice. If it will cause you severe pain or complete inability to eat it i would say contact the bride if there was no spot on invite. I’m guessing they are having a buffet because you seemed to not know meal choices which means there is a great chance even if something there is gf it can be contaminated by food next to it unless you get it straight from cook.
Im sure your not the only guest with restrictions, so i would ask if i were you.
Post # 7
Tell the hosts. Vegetarian should not be an issue. I’ve never been to a wedding that didn’t have a vegetarian option. However, often times the veggie option is some variation on pasta, so definitely let them know that you need gluten free as well. Gluten free is extremely common now, so I would think almost any caterer could accommodate this request. As a host, I would feel very awkward if someone brought their own cooler of food without giving me the opportunity to try and accommodate their dietary needs and host them.
Post # 8
I would ask the bride and groom. Usually there is a vegetarian option, but likely not Girlfriend.
Post # 9
I would just assume it wasn’t going to be Girlfriend and eat beforehand or bring snacks.
Post # 10
I probaby wouldn’t say anything. If you contact the bride they will probably feel obliged to provide you with a special meal. I would prefer to take care of myself and not add to their burden.
Post # 11
IDK, I’m a vegetarian and I can’t eat a lot of food due to issues with excessive grease and butter, but I would not make this an issue for the host.
I was raised to believe it’s rude to ask for special treatment, so I just make it work. Lot’s of people are rude anyway about my food choices– there is a lot of judgment if you don’t eat like everyone else. No need to compound that with special requests in front of your in laws, unless you know they will respond favorably.
But hey, I guess it takes lots of people asking before changes are made and it’s normalized, so good for you on that level.
Post # 12
As a host, I’d prefer to know. And I’d get it handled but probably feel stressed making sure. As a guest, I would not want to put any additional stress on the bride/groom and I’d make my own arrangements and hope there was something I could enjoy already planned.
Post # 13
Your response is very thoughtful. I wasn’t sure what the etiquette was about asking as I’m willing to talk to the caterers myself, regardless of not knowing the bride and groom well. I certainly don’t need to add stress to her list of things to do! Thanks for your thoughts!
Post # 14
I think you just eat a lot before hand and stash a snack. Im sure many will disagree but I think it’s a burden to call up a bride you barely know and ask what food will fit your restrictions. And it’s definitely overstepping to call their caterer! It’s not your place to add a specialty meal onto their bill.
Post # 15
Ha! Yes, I don’t want to spark any bridezilla behavior. You’re right I’m not making a request for them to switch up the menu just gathering some knowledge so I can eat before the reception. Thank you! Funny comment!