Post # 1
so I feel bad, one of our Groomsmen texted me last night saying that he had asked his brother if he received an invitation to our wedding (we havent sent invites out yet, but we did sent out STDs), and the brother said no. So Groomsmen texted me and asked me if his younger brother was invited.
We are having a small wedding (75 people, small by most standards, but seems big to me!) and we are paying for it ourselves, so we really can’t go over that number for budget reasons. We are not close with this GM’s brother and are not inviting him.. we only invited close friends and families (we did give all single people +1s).
So I replied back saying I haven’t sent invites out yet, but we are having a small wedding with close friends and family and weren’t able to invite everyone we wanted to. While we would’ve loved GM’s brother to come to our wedding, we just weren’t able to invite him.
I never heard back…so I am being a typical girl over analyzing..is he not responding cause he’s a typical guy and doesn’t text a lot? or is he not answering cause hes mad? I don’t want to make it worse and text him again to make sure he’s not mad… ugh please advise is there anything else I can do? did i respond in poor form?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
You gave the apropriate response. The Groomsmen may still be unhappy with it but anybody he asks will tell him that you are in the right on this issue. Give him time to digest and respond. Guys don’t always respond back immediately so I wouldn’t necessarily think he was mad.
Post # 4
@HeLovesDogs: Your response was perfect. The Groomsmen was very rude to even ask so, I wouldn’t worry too much about if he’s angry or not.
I’m puzzled why he cares if his younger brother is invited to your wedding if the brother isn’t part of your circle of friends? have you just known the both of them for a long time? Not that it matters – you still don’t owe him an invitation – just curious about the GM’s reasoning here.
Is the Groomsmen bringing a spouse or SO? Again, this is irrelevant – just curious.
Post # 5
@Zhabeego: I personally thought it was a bit rude to ask, but he isn’t a rude person generally and I do like him. I was wondering the same thing! We don’t hang out with his brother at all, Fiance has known this Groomsmen for years, so he obviously knows this GM’s brother and parents, but he’s not very close with the family or anything, more like aquaintances. Groomsmen has a girlfriend, and she is invited to my shower, rehearsal dinner, wedding…I even asked her if she wanted to come to my bachelorette party! I am hoping he is just curious
Post # 6
Perfect response! Guys, especially if they are single, are very clueless about weddings. And guys tend to respond when they are upset, not sulk and give the silent treatment. I think you may be overthinking – don’t worry about it!
Post # 7
@HeLovesDogs: Your reply was great. Regardless of whether he is mad or just a guy and doesn’t text much, you did the right thing. Unfortunately there had to be a line drawn, you can’t invite everyone and their brother (literally!) to your wedding. Is he a close friend to your FI? Maybe you could have him investigate to see if the Groomsmen is mad at you, without making it obvious. I really wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 8
@HeLovesDogs: Given all that, I think he was probably just curious and not at all upset. I’m sure he didn’t mean to be rude – some people are just clueless as to how awkward it is to answer those kind of questions.
Post # 9
He was probably asking because he looked kind of foolish asking his brother if he was invited. If he gets annoyed, it’s probably because he doesn’t want to own up to his mistake.
You are totally fine not inviting groomsmen’s families!
Post # 10
@Zhabeego: I honestly think that’s what it is, we are one of the first couples in our circle of friends to get married (the first couple didn’t have a bridal party, so this is the first one with a bridal party), and I think he just didn’t realize..
Thanks for all your responses, I feel a lot better, I think I will just let it go and hope it isn’t anything upsetting to him in the long run