(Closed) Go down without a battle or keep on going?

posted 5 years ago in Legal
  • poll: should I keep going or separate now?
    keep going with a lawyer : (20 votes)
    67 %
    separate now : (10 votes)
    33 %
    other (explain below) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @Comealongpond:  Ooh thats a tricky one,a very tough decision for you.


    I would let it go though personally.My ex H owed me over 2k and i was prepared to take him to small claims court to get it back after our divorce was finalised as i didnt want the divorce being held up.He had made numerous promises to pay but when i met someone new some months later he backtracked and became bitter and twisted and said he wasnt paying a penny


    After many verbal battles i told him ”stick the two grand up your arse,im not going to trawl through the courts and put my life on hold just because you continue to be a dick  like you were when we were married.Im happy,im better than that and im content to lose that money for peace of mind and to have my dignity intact…unlike you!”


    For me it was the best move i made but i did it for ME,not anything to do with the new boyfriend (and im glad i did as me and the boyfriend separated 2 years later) so you should really think about who you would be doing it for either way


    i do feel that if you choose to go for the latter option of staying legally married to him until this is settled,you will find yourself unable to fully move on.This man broke your heart,free yourself from him and heal 


    Good luck with the decision making

    ETA i would insist on having the rest of your personal items and whatever furniture you paid for though

    Post # 4
    8681 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @Comealongpond:  I guess it depends on how much you want to be rid of him.

    But if I were you and I knew I was never going to get married again I would probably not sign the papers because well it will be his fight to finance if he ever wants to get married again with you holding all the power or if you stay marrried on paper for life when he dies you could claim on his estate.

    Post # 5
    3370 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Comealongpond:  I understand that things aren’t fair or even and it sucks to lose. But things are things, not important, not necessary. I would value the success of getting permanently away from this horrid man above and beyond any things I might get by “winning” (though in actuality, no one is winning here). Things are just things. Eventually you will get new things. Save your sanity and move on.

    Post # 6
    953 posts
    Busy bee

    @jadlnc:  +1000. Going to court isn’t worth it in the long run. I’d sign the papers.

    Post # 8
    732 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @Comealongpond:  I am so so sorry you’re going through all this!!!

    I vote get a lawyer however you can and sue him for divorce, having all financials fairly disclosed in court, and also ask the courts for him to pay the legal fees. Talk to your local prosecutors office to see if they can refer you to legal representation based on income/sliding scale attorneys. Talk to a local women’s shelter for same info. It may be a long road ahead and take a lot of TIME but honestly you’re worth it, and most states have laws to provide for women in your exact situation! 

    very best of luck to you!!!

    Post # 9
    26 posts
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I am worried about the part where you worked for him for years without him paying you – you supported his business, and have a vested financial interest. 

    I know court is hard, but you deserve something out of all the years or marriage you put in. You deserve spousal support – you gave up a lot (financial opprotunities – is how the court will view it), and you are owed your due. 

    I agree with @Sweetjennygirl – there are free resources that exist just to help people in your situation. Fighting for what you deserve will help resentment that you may feel in the future. 

    With that said… only you know what is right for you. 

    Good luck, and best wishes!

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