(Closed) go or stay??

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You need to leave because you are not deeply in love with your fiance. Temper issues can be worked on when both parties are committed to doing better. But, you are treating this relationship like casual dating by developing feelings for someone else. Stuff like this happens, better it happen now then before you become married.

Post # 18
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you cant stand his moods after only 8 months imagine what it would be like putting up with that for the rest of your life if you did decide to go ahead with the wedding.  The way he is treating you is terrible and you do not deserve it at all.  Like a pp stated, it is only early days you should be sublimely happy not walking on eggshells for fear you will upset him.  

You have been in two awful relationships, perhaps now its time to take time for you.  

Post # 19
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@last_unicorn:  It’s so early in your relationship to be having these kinds of serious problems. It seems like you rushed from one relationship to the next and are already falling for someone else. I think you should break up with your Fiance (he’s not going to change regardless of what he says – people don’t change) and be single for a while so you can focus on yourself.

Post # 20
Member
2202 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

8 months in is still supposed to be the honeymoon stage, right? You guys moved too quickly in your relationship, and its ok to have doubts – and its ok to walk away! The fact that you already have feelings for someone else is very telling. 

Post # 21
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@whoa_its_ash:  +1

I agree with others, 8 months into a new relationship should be still the honeymoon phase… you should be happy/giggling about everything…not having anger issues, or developing feelings for someone else…

I would leave! A woman’s instinct is normally right, so trust yours!

Post # 22
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Unfortunately this relationship didn’t start on the right foot (you were dating someone else), and the next one won’t either if you peruse this new person next. Just leave this man, and be alone for a While. You need to figure out YOU before you jump into another relationshop

Post # 23
Member
32 posts
Newbee

@last_unicorn:  I hate to hear you’re going through this. I am concerned about some of what you described because it sort of falls in line with what I see with clients in abusive relationships. I think one of the big struggles for you at this point is that, only 8 months in, you really have no idea if this temper/anger/lashing out is a permanent part of his behavior/treatment of women, or if he is temporarily stressed and taking it out on you. The speed with which you started dating and got engaged is also a concern – abusers often move to intensify the relationship as quickly as possible. My advice would be to take a break and suggest that he see someone about his anger issues. This will give you the space you need to figure out what is really going on and, if he is truly receptive and understands that his behavior is unacceptable, will give him the opportunity to make things better before you take such a huge step together. 

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