(Closed) Godparents- do they have to be your age? who are yours?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We chose the siblings who we thought were closet to us in their values, and would best be able to raise them anyway (because they have kids close in age), which was DH’s sister and her husband. We never put it in a will, I just spoke to her informally. Which probably wasn’t the wisest move, but we’re still alive so it’s ok 🙂

p.s. This was nothing to do with godparents, there are no godparents in our traditions.

Post # 4
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My sister is dd godmother. I picked her & her husband (they were not married at the time but about to be engaged) because she is more like me then anyone I know. I know I can trust them to take care of her and any other child we might have. I have another sister &  a brother who completely understood. Our parents weren’t even an option, just didn’t seem fair to ask them. Even though they aren’t old, my mom is in her 40s.

Post # 5
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We picked friends to be the Godparents, but that’s in the “helping on the spiritual growth journey” sense. We’ve asked my parents to take care of our kid(s) in the event that something happens to us. They are older (obviously), but my mom is in better shape than most people my age, and I know they’ll be fine until my kids are old enough to be on their own (barring some other tragedy, but that’d be true of someone younger as well). If that changes, we will ask someone else, but for now, we are happy with that decision. We also trust that my parents would choose someone else we’d approve of if they felt they couldn’t do it (I don’t see that happening…)

My mom will also be providing part time child care as my kiddos grow up, so they will be more comfortable with her than anyone else. 

Post # 7
Member
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We have godparents, Jewish friends who are our age, and for us there roll is to support our daughter throughout her life and always be in her corner, My parents will take custody though if anything were to ever happen to us. 

Post # 8
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m a godparent x2.

My Godson’s mother is a smidgen older than me.

My Goddaughter’s mother is my best friend in the whole wide world. She’s the same age as my Godson’s mother, so we’re all roughly the same age.

Post # 9
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My aunt and uncle are my godparents.  I don’t really see the point of it honestly.  In our tradition it is not related to who you would go to if your parents passed away – that’s separate.  I think Darling Husband and I will choose someone who could raise our kids just in case, but we probably wouldn’t call them godparents.  Someone around our age would be best probably, most likely my sister or his.

Post # 10
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@ThreeMeers:  Best to pick a single person and then a backup.  I also wouldn’t pick someone any older than your parents.  It is difficult to pick a couple because they may not be married when and if something happens to you and your spouse.  Godparents for the purpose of religious ceremonies (just tell your priest and they will sign the register) do not necessarily need to be the godparents for the purpose of legal custody (you need a will for this.)

Post # 11
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d also like to note that I don’t have godparents (since I can’t ETA it in my post) but when I have children, my best friend & her husband will be their godparents.

Post # 12
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t have godparents and I don’t see my future children having them either.

But when I was growing up, I know my parents had talked to one of my sets of aunts and uncles (one of my dad’s sisters and her husband) about, if something were to happen to my parents, they would be the ones to raise me and my siblings.  I don’t know if it was in a legal document or just a mutual agreement though.

I think it is probably best for that person (who would raise your children in your place) to at least be semi-close to you in age.  I think its really hard to ask a parent (who will be much older and retired) to take on that responsibility.

Post # 13
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

My Godparents were also set up in my parent’s will to be my legal guardians if they both died. My Godfather is my dad’s college roommate and best friend of 40 years. My parents both have many siblings, but ultimately decided that his best friend and wife would be the best option. I also plan to have Godparents for my kids who who act as legal guardians, so my Fiance and I will think pretty carefully about who we ask to take on that role. Both of our sisters currently plan to remain childfree, so we will likely ask my best friend and his wife, as they have similar education, values, and family traditions to our own.

Post # 14
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I had godparents. They were (and are) still married, and had kids about my age. However, I still wouldn’t have gone to them if something happened. My brothers had different sets of godparents, and certainly they wouldn’t have split us up if something happened.

In fact, I asked my mom about that the other day when thinking about DS and she said when they had my older brother, they asked my aunt (who already had 4 girls), but didn’t ask anyone after I was born or my little brother. I don’t exactly know what would have happened, and they never spelled it out. Obviously, it worked out ok, but it’s probably good to have a plan. We likely would have gone to my grandmother, although maybe to an aunt. 

Post # 15
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My husband’s religion doesn’t do godparents but mine does and in my family it’s kind of a big deal. That being said I want it to be someone I trust and have similar values and someone in the family so we’re thinking of my sister. She isn’t ideal but not matter what right now if anything happened my parents would probably be the first place our kid would end up but I think if she had to she would step up and be a great parent someday. 

Post # 16
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@ThreeMeers:  Godparents has become different than legal guardians should anything happen.  My godparents are my mom’s sister and my dad’s nephew.  But mom and dad had in their will that my legal guardian would be my dad’s sister is anything had happened to them.  Godparents doesn’t have to be a couple and in many cases siblings have different Godparents now (although not in all cultures).  For legal guardians I would pick a couple whether its his parents, your parents, a good friend or a sibling.  And I’d make sure they were ok with it.  Remember that your child would be going through an extremely tramatic event if something happened to their mom and dad.

The topic ‘Godparents- do they have to be your age? who are yours?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors