Going back to work, am I crazy?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m not sure where to start but the easiest “fix” right now would be to have a conversation with your mom and schedules, rules and expectations. It sounds like she is just very excited and wants to help as much as possible. My mom watches my daughter a lot while I’m at work but initially I always brought her food, gave her the expected schedule and even gave her options for outings and activities. Now that she’s been watching her for a few months, it’s a lot more relaxed and easy for everyone.

The second part…living with your parents…and having crazy hours. I could never do either of these things. My daughter wakes up at 530 and goes to bed at 530 so I literally wouldn’t see her all week with those hours. Is there an opportunity to switch jobs? I could see it working for a short time but not long term. 2 days a week is not enough when you are used to 24/7.

Post # 4
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

I feel like you probably are stressed at the thought of returning to work and missing the baby, and therefore talking it out on your mum. I mean your mum was looking after the baby and prepped some meals, why should that annoy you? She’s just trying to help,you can’t do it all and the sooner you realise that you can accept that she isn’t trying to take over.

 

Post # 5
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It sounds like your Mum wants to help and she’s doing a lot for you. Your reasponses and reactions suggest that you don’t feel good about changing your role at this point, and maybe you are even a bit jealous that she is having all that time with baby.

Do you absolutely have to work at this point and spend so much time away from your family? I understand that financially most of us are obliged to go back to work. It is lucky that you have the support you do, as daycare gets very expensive. What do you actually want from your situation and what is realistically possible?

Post # 6
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like your mum is a superstar.

Don’t give her grief over this. Accept the help whilst she is fit, well and willing to do so. Things can change in the blink of an eye.

You will find going back hard mentally and physically. I stuck at it for 6 months before chucking in the towel and now I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom looking for part time work.

See how it goes.

Post # 7
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper

Your schedule sounds gruelling. I understand why you’d feel the way you do – must you put yourself through this?  Is there no way to have a shorter commute and more time with your little one? 

Post # 8
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee

Poshbecs :  going back to work after having my baby was extremely sad for me and I was only off for three months. Good news is you have excellent support for your crazy work schedule, however you are right to insist your mom follow your child’s sleep schedule.

I was a tyrant about sleep schedules because it is so important for the baby and for YOU since  no naps during the day will cause your little one to wake up during the night. Which means you’ll be up as well.  seems counterintuitive but is well documented by peds. Have a discussion with your mom about this.

Recognize what you are feeling is natural and celebrate that you have an awesome village helping you raise your sweet love. Your situation is tough, take care of yourself -at least 2 things per day -as in talk to the baby  on the way home, read on the train or bus if that’s how you commute. 

Lastly, tell your baby about what’s to come- that you are going to work and she will be with other people, etc. you may think she’s too young to understand but she isn’t. It’s important to explain the change she is experiencing. A child psychologist explained it time thus way. What if one day some new giant just showed up at your house and the giant you’d been used to just disappeared with no explanation. Wouldn’t you be freaked out?

Post # 9
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Poshbecs :  Haha I like the lotto ticket option!! It sounds like you are a smart mama and just need to plug through. But remember you are the mama and even though our parents raised us, we still like to have things done a certain way and our babies are used to a certain schedule. Grandma’s needs don’t trump baby’s. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Poshbecs :  Good to hear the transition is going better than expected!

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