- 1 year ago
Hi everyone! This is my first post on this website, but i’m hoping i’ll be using it a lot in the future to help with wedding planning.
My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years this week. We are celebrating our anniversary on Friday night and everyone thinks he is going to propose. The thing is – I really don’t think so, at least that’s what i’ve been telling myself to avoid dissapoitment, but now that everybody has planted the seed in my head i am going CRAZY waiting.
I try my hardest not to be pushy when it comes to talking about an engagement because he’s made it clear that he plans on marrying me. He says he just wants to be in a ‘stable’ position in his life before he proposes, and has a certiain budget for a ring that i personally think is too expensive. I have tried to tell him I really do want something cheaper, but he won’t listen. The problem with this is, i don’t see us having a ‘stable’ life any time soon. We’ve lived together since September, and while i wouldn’t say we are struggling, we are still living paycheque to paycheque. He has a really crappy car that he’ll need to replace soon, a lot of debt that he’s had for years, and he just entered his first year of a 4 year apprenticeship. (We’re almost 24, he’s a little behind on his career but he’s on track now.) I want a long engagement, so we’re not worried about booking & paying for things as soon as I say yes.
I told him about a year and a half ago that I wanted to be engaged by the end of 2018. He seemed open to it, and even mentioned once a few months ago that hes “following my timeline”. I thought that meant he had started saving for a ring, but other things he has said & done have made me feel like it’s not happening any time soon. I know there’s still 11 months in 2018, which is why i’m getting mad at myself for being so impatient.
He has barely put in any effort to plan our 5 year anniversary, which i have expressed to him is really important to me. He keeps asking me what i want to do and i just keep telling him to plan something special. On top of this, about a month ago i had showed him a ring i had seen in the mall while Christmas shopping. I just showed him & told him i was really into that style. He told me to “stop rushing things” which really threw me off because he’s never said anything like that to me before.
Part of me is feeling like he’s planning a super secret special night for us, and his lack of caring is just to throw me off from what’s to come. He is usually pretty romantic so this is a first for him. On the other hand, I know our financial situation pretty well and I know that unless he did decide to throw his budget out the window or he’s been scretly saving for a lot longer than I’ve realized, there’s no way he’s payed for a ring.
I feel like I am going crazy waiting for our anniversary to come and i’m just going to dissapoint myself if he doesn’t propose. I know I probably won’t, but i’m worried that i will say something or act dissapointed on our anniversary and ruin it by making him feel bad, which I DO NOT want. I guess i’m not really looking for any advice, I just wanted to vent my frustrations. I’m picking apart every little detail of our lives trying to figure out what is and isn’t a clue. If he doesn’t propose this weekend, I think i might try and touch base with him one more time just to try and feel out where he is at with this.
Thanks for listening!!!!