(Closed) Going down the Aisle Dilemma!

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Who should be in the aisle next to me
    Traditional - give my father a chance : (2 votes)
    5 %
    Non Traditional- Alone or another person : (4 votes)
    10 %
    My children - as the wedding planner suggested : (36 votes)
    86 %
    Other- Please explain : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Your children should walk you. It would be a super sweet and wonderful family moment. Since your dad has not been a constant part of your actual family, let him know that you have already told your kids that they will do it. He should understand that you made that promise to them.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    7174 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I think you should stick with the plan that you and Fiance came up with (for your kids to walk you).

    Your father’s feelings will be hurt – but, I would tell him how much you appreciate him being in your life now and how you feel about him – but it’s important for you to share this moment with YOUR kids.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    5075 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    your dad does not deserve that honor.  Being a good grandfather doesn’t erase the past.   

    Post # 6
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I agree with PP. As nice as it may be that your dad is finally making more of an effort, he hasn’t been there for you for a lot of the time and I think it’d be very special to have your children walk you down. I also wouldn’t let him guilt you into it; if this were true that it would break his heart then why wasn’t he dying to do it the first or second time? It probably breaks your heart more that he wasn’t in your life for a large part of it, by his own doing.   

    Post # 7
    Member
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    if I were you, I will stick with the kids idea.  I LOVE THAT IDEA!

    your dad has so many chances in the past and he blew it. You can have him do a speech at the reception or sth.  But I don’t think you HAVE to walk with him if you don’t want to.  Don’t let anyone push you to do something you didn’t want to.

    And I think your mom and dad should move on with this “traditional” idea.  And personally I feel like your dad finally feel like he is missing out and he wanted his chance back for his sake, not for yours.  Apparently you didn’t think of him first when you first plan the aisle run down right? 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @LoveMySailor1018:  I totally agree with you!  This is exactly what I was thinking too.  Now the dad realized what he has missed out on and now want the experience?

    OP – I hope you will pick your kids as they are the closest ones in your life now and I am sure it will mean A LOT to them too. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I am not sure I “get” the kids walking as the planner suggested.  It just seems odd and doesn’t make sense to me.  (I get the purpose when brides have their birth fathers walk them halfway and the stepfather walk the second half, but this make no sense to me.)  But the general idea of the kids walking you down OR you walking yourself sound great.

    Post # 10
    Member
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Propose a compromise.  Since you are in love with the kids idea and you’re not totally down with your dad walking you down the aisle, make it a point to have a father/daughter dance.  Just say “Dad, I’m a bit too old to have my father walking me down–Fiance and I really like the symbolism with the kids so we’re sticking with that.  But it would mean a lot to me if you joined me for a father-daughter dance at the reception.  I know things have not been great with us and it makes me so happy that you’re a part of my life now and will be here with me on this day.”

    You could also ask him to escort you to the church doors–he could precede down the aisle to his seat followed by the kids.

    Post # 11
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I like the idea of offering up the father/daughter dance. Also, I don’t know if this an option for you, but at my aunt’s wedding years ago, the mothers of both the bride and groom were incorporated into the ceremony. I don’t remember it that well because I was 12 at the time (I was one of the bridesmaids, lol – needless to say I didn’t help plan the bachelorette party), but I know it involved both of them lighting a candle together. That might give you an opportunity to provide a greater honor for your mother during the ceremony, something for your father during the reception, and still have the chance to walk down the aisle with your kids.

    Post # 12
    Member
    408 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Just have your children do it! It is YOUR day! <3

    Post # 13
    Member
    1352 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @shalynnmarie:  I think your kids is the best idea also, just as PP’s have said.  I was a little confused reading this though, why would your kids doing it upset your mother?

    Post # 14
    Member
    379 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    My sister and I walked our mom down the aisle when she was remarried 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    48 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’m late to the party but I think having your kids walk you down the aisle is a fantastic idea – I know weddings can be a good time to bury old hatchets but I love the idea of having this additional symbolism of you, your Fiance and children all come together as a family to celebrate your marriage!

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