(Closed) going insane with my "deadline" When did you start TTC?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

@mrshoneybee:  I could have written this post a year or two ago 🙂

 

Waiting is always the hardest part. In my situation Darling Husband and I talked about waiting about 5 years. After I had a pregnancy “scare” about a year in I realized I didn’t want to wait– I was ready NOW. Darling Husband on the other hand was not. We started TTC last July, about 2 and a hald years into our marriage. It took a lot of conversations to get to that point. We essentially talked about it every 4-6 months until we were able to agree on a firm deadline. I had to do quite a bit of waiting for Darling Husband to be ready, but his willingness to move up our deadline 2.5 years was mostly because I was where you are (still am!). I was in a job with a deadline in a city I’m not crazy about, longing to have something in the here and now to focus on.

 

So that’s a lot of commiserating, but here is the advice I will give you. FIRST. Talk to your Darling Husband. Find out where he is on all of this. He might surprise you! 

 

SECOND. If he isn’t quite there yet, find out why. Does he want more stable finances? More time just the two of you? Understand where he is coming from and do what you can to alleviate his concerns. For example, come up with a plan to save more of your income or pay off debt; maybe show him that having a baby doesn’t have to be too expensive. If he is worried about giving up couple time, make a Baby Bucket List of things the two of you want to enjoy before becoming parents. This will give you things to work on and do NOW that will help the time pass more quickly.

 

THIRD. Find a place where you can go to vent when you are feeling impatient or vulnerable. That might be here, or another online community, or even a best friend or family member. Being impatient might feel selfish but it’s a valid place to be. Find an outlet so you don’t drive yourself crazy 🙂

 

Good luck!

 

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