(Closed) Going off the registry….

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

No, you are not a terrible person if you donate them! I dont understand why people get certain things that are off registry. We got so many random and weird things but at the same time we got some really thoughtful gifts. Other things were nice but either not practical for our lives or not our style.

 

Post # 4
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think you are terrible at all for this. Can you exchange items and get something you did register for or do want? I have received multiple items that I registered for in which I’ll be exchanging for other items since I don’t need the additional ones.

Post # 5
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The only time I’ve gone off-registry is if I know the bride well and it’s something personal or something I know she’s like…  something handmade, or handmade from etsy, or a nice bottle of wine or champagne to go with say a picnic basket or set of flutes.

But to buy random placemats? Uh.. no. I hope they weren’t just regifting on you!

Post # 6
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You are completely right to think like this.  Could you gently tell your friend you already have a full set of dishes?  If you aren’t comfortable with this, I would definitely donate them or give them to someone who needs/wants them.  At least that way you would be helping someone else out.

Post # 8
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I may be in the minority here but I think a gift should be about what the giver wants to give, not what the receiver wants to get. People go off registry because alot of the time the prices on the registy are not that great and you can get the exact same item somewhere else for a better price. I’m not having a registry at all because i’m not comfortable telling people what to buy me.

Post # 11
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@bells: I agree with you. 

Yes, as gift givers, we want to give something we know the person will want.

But as the person on the receiving end of the gift, just appreciate the sentiment. A registry is a “wish list”, not a list of demands. 

And as someone who never receives thank you notes anymore, I just want to say: remember to send out thank yous ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MissShork: “But as the person on the receiving end of the gift, just appreciate the sentiment. A registry is a “wish list”, not a list of demands. “

Well said!

 

 

Post # 14
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@bells: I understand where you are coming from.  But often, people gift what they themselves like with little consideration to whether the gift recipient likes this too or not.  Or you end up with 5 toasters and there is only so much toast you can make.

That’s why I find a registry helpful.  I would only go off registry if I knew the gift recipient well and knew exactly what they like or already have. 

Post # 15
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@blu77: thank you!

@Coloradolov: My response would be that some people are bad “gift givers”. Two years ago for christmas, my mom gave me a glittery orange dragon ornament that she found at value village.

If she knew you had plates, yes plates weren’t the useful gift. but maybe she thought “hey, she must really like getting plates!”. I guess, my point is not to sweat the small stuff. If you’re getting a gift, you get whatever the giver chooses to give. 

Post # 16
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

A friend of mine received from a mutual friend a single appetizer plate that did not match the ones she had registered for. I can understand going off the registry trying to give something different or unique–we’ve done it before when we got our friends a Wii, which we knew they wanted but felt it was inappropriate to register for. But a single appetizer plate?I still don’t get it.

It’s the thought that counts and it’s nice of people to give a gift in the first place, but in some cases it’s not very practical. I think it makes some sense if you wanted to give something totally unrelated to items on the registry, but it doesn’t make as much sense to buy the same type of items a couple had registered for (plates, kitchen appliances, etc) in the design you prefer.

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