Post # 1
Apparently the news was slow last night, because this article made headlines. http://mommyish.com/stuff/vacation-without-baby/
This woman is going on vacation children and leaving her ten week old baby with her inlaws. This started dh and I a huge debate regarding how young is too young to leave your child for more than one night, even with relatives. He said under the age of two is too young, and I think over a year, I’d be okay leaving my child for a weekend with my mom.
Anyone else have a limit?
Post # 3
Since I breast fed, 11 months is the absolute lower limit. And babies are very fussy, so that’s another reason not to leave a very young baby with someone else. Even not accounting for breastfeeding, I can’t imagine leaving a baby under (about) 12 months for more than a night out. For “more than one night” as you put it, I think 12 months is ok. It’s fairly common to leave a 1 year old for several nights when going into hospital for childbirth, for instance.
Post # 4
I don’t have kids but Darling Husband and I have talked about it and we want to be parents that can leave our kid with family overnight pretty early. I think it’s important for our marriage to have time together without the baby.
Reading the article comments I find it so disturbing how mothers judge other mothers. Seriously, there is no one right way to do it and parenting is hard enough without people jumping down your throat for your choices. This culture of judgement among parents has got to end. I think parents need to do what they are comfortable with and not worry about others choices.
Post # 5
“I think that, even from his early age, I’m teaching him a sense of independence. “
At 10 weeks old? Seriously?
I’m all for going out with the hubs for some couple time and leaving the baby with a responsible baby sitter for a night. But I can’t imagine leaving my infant for an entire week. The independence BS is just to make mommy feel better about her decision, because I’m sure she knows that 10 weeks old is way too young to “learn to be independent”.
Post # 6
@MrsDibs: I Agree with everything you said! I won’t judge her for leaving her child, although I wouldn’t do it. At the same time, I was curious what other women bought about when it was okay to leave a child for more than one night.
I’m with you though. Im planning on nights out with dh early on! We both, thankfully, agreed on that.
Post # 7
It isn’t anyones business. If she wants to go on vacation, she goes on vacation. Her baby isn’t going to remember anyway, and why don’t these people focus on pornographers and child abusers. Jesus.
I have only left my 17 month old overnight twice and the older she gets the harder it is, and I brought her on vacation, but I am not this mother and she is not me, and we are all different.
I thought I was going to be one of the moms who had no problem leaving the baby for a night out, but at this point staying at home with my kid is more fun than going out to dinner. lol! She’ll learn in time… Although thinking back, it WAS easier for me emotionally to “go out” when my daughter was an infant. now it’s mostly a lost cause.
Post # 8
I just don’t think her leaving her child in the very capable hands of family for 6 days in the grand scheme of things is that deplorable. I’m not a mom yet but I really hope to be the kind who is more than just a mom.
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I don’t think there is any way to make this decision until you are actually raising your child. Americans are pretty unique in refusing to be apart from our children overnight or longer for so long. I would imgaine that if you are breastfeeding, more than a night or two would be very rough on both mom and baby.
Post # 10
I hate the whole mommy wars mentality because you get criticized, no matter what your stance is. We get criticism all the time because we still haven’t left our daughter (2 years) for longer than a few hours. The only time we’ve been separated overnight is when Darling Husband and I were in the hospital having DS, and even then Darling Husband went home every night to put her to bed, and was back at the house every morning before she woke up. So you can leave your child and criticized (like the woman in the link) or you can choose not to leave you child and still get criticized (like my family). It’s a lose-lose for parents, no matter which choice they make.
Post # 11
@Mrs. Spring: I think that’s why I was so shocked this made national news. Frankly, who cares? She didn’t leave the baby at home alone, or with pedophiles, but she is being criticized by so many. I might not personally do so, but the criticism is incredible.
Post # 12
@takemyhand: Right?! Who the eff cares? I don’t know this woman, and frankly, (as long as she’s not abusing her child) I really don’t care what she does. I feel like we’re way too nosey about other people’s business these days. This is not news to me.
Post # 13
Who cares?? She left her child in the capable hands of her family. Being comfortable leaving your child at an earlier age than average doesn’t make one a bad mother.
I don’t have kids yet but I’d guess I’d be comfortable leaving them with my/DH’s parents around the 9-12 month mark.
Post # 14
As long as she’s leaving the baby with someone capable of caring it for while she’s away, then who cares? If the parents are okay leaving their child and will be able to enjoy their vacation, then good for them.
Post # 15
i had no choice but to start leaving my Dirty Delete at a very young age. she was born while i was still in grad school and her father had just walked out a week before she was born. i went back to class 2 weeks after my emergency c-section (one day a week, a 10 hour day). at 6 weeks old, she stayed with my parents for the weekend because i was overwhelmed and needed to catch up on a ton of school work. we live 3.5 hours apart. after that, they made it a point to take her for a weekend every 6-8 weeks. it was the best thing i ever did for the both of us. she never took to the breast, so i exclusively pumped and built up a huge supply of frozen milk to send.
she just turned 2 this month and still spends a weekend here and there with them. she spent 6 days over there a few months ago (she was sick and i had just started a new job, so i couldn’t take time off). she is, without a doubt, the most secure and independent child i have ever seen. i feel absolutely no guilt leaving her with my parents because she has a great time and they are crazy about her. i love that she does not rely on only me for her caretaking. i am a strong believer in it taking a village to raise a child.
i honestly cannot fathom how some mothers never step foot away from their child at this age. i have several friends who have never left their child with anybody else, and their children are very clingy and have no concept of independence. i’m not trying to bash them, hey, it works for them and their family. i have never wanted to get so wrapped up in the role of mommy that i forget who i am as a person and as a professional. my child spending time with others has only facilitated that more easily.
Post # 16
I was less than a year old when my parents left me with my grandparents for over a week (they leave about 2 hours away). My grandma says I didn’t cry at all and I was happy to play with my cousin (aunt, uncle and cousin were living next door).
But my situation is different: both my parents work shift in a hospital and oftentimes they had to leave me with a nanny at night (an during the day, of course), so I was used from an early age to spend night without my mom.