(Closed) Going out for supper with someone of the opposite sex

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you go out for supper with a friend of the opposite sex?
    Yes I would : (235 votes)
    43 %
    No, I would never do that : (87 votes)
    16 %
    I wouldn't care if my SO did : (162 votes)
    30 %
    I would never let my SO do that : (65 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    4783 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @WillowTreeWade:   Once in an exclusive relationship, I wouldn’t go on anything remotely resembling a date, (with another man)  but I tend to avoid grey areas in life as much as possible.   To each their own.  🙂

    Post # 4
    1816 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I’m not sure if I would – I don’t really have any guy friends that I am close to who aren’t closer to my husband. If I’m invited, it’s because SO was invited first. In theory I’d be fine with it, but just hasn’t happened in practice.

    My husband has gone out to dinner with one of our friends alone (later on she was a bridesmaid, and ended up dating a groomsman!) and I didn’t think of it as weird at all. I had to work late, she wanted to hang out, he wanted to hang out… no biggie.


    Post # 5
    114 posts
    Blushing bee

    Yea, we both would be fine with that. It’s okay to do things apart and not everything between people of the opposite sec has to be interpreted as sexual in some way. It’s also nice to do things with someone who might enjoy them more than your SO would. Honestly, I can’t see the arguments against this.

    Post # 7
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think it depends on the situation… In your case both you and your SO know and obviously trust “john” so I’d be fine with that. If it was someone my SO didn’t really know then I don’t think it’s appropriate

    Post # 8
    533 posts
    Busy bee

    I have one or two close male friends that I’ve been friends with for years (long before I knew my SO).  So yes, I’d go out to dinner with them, no problem.  I would, however, find it odd if my SO went out to dinner with a female only because he doesn’t have any close female friends.  I think certain people are “grandfathered” in and it’s ok.  New people though?  That’s a little sketchy…

    Post # 9
    3266 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @WillowTreeWade:  I used to go out with 3 of my guys friends to the bar every Tuesday night to catch up and drink cheap pints. Sometimes it’d be just two of us due to conflicting schedules. FI was still living 2 hours away at the time but he didn’t care one single bit. When he moved in with me we continued the tradition for quite a few months, but eventually we all became too busy or worked too early of hours to be leaving the house at 8-9pm for a couple beers.

    If FI had any close female friends I wouldn’t care. And I’d have no right caring otherwise I’d be a giant hypocrite.

    Post # 10
    959 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Pick it up and eat at your place with FH? That is probably what I would do.

    However, since DH is invited and simply chooses to not go, I don’t see the issue. I think it is weird if you were like “no, this is my friend date time with John and DH isn’t allowed to come.” My FI hangs out with a few of my female friends during the week while I am away for work. I think it’s fine. As long as your DH is ok with it, I don’t see an issue.

    Post # 11
    2449 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    People are dumb, you can go to dinner with anyone you’d like. You’re married, not conjoined twins.

    Post # 12
    3773 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    The judgement is going to pour on both sides of this. Most people will say you are either

    1. Untrusting/insecure if you have a poblem with this or

    2. Inappropriate/asking for trouble.

    Quit honestly both of them are very extreme. As far as what works in my relationship-neither one of us have friends of the opposite gender that we are close enough to go to meals on our own. Most of the time when we get together with friends we are all in a big group-guys, girls, couples, etc.

    Post # 13
    1904 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

    Yes, I have done this before and so has DH. To each their own. I know many people are not okay with this within their own relationships and I guess as long as both parties agree then that is okay by me. 

    I just know that I could not personally be in a relationship where my husband had a problem with me going out with one of my guy friends.

    Post # 14
    1785 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @WillowTreeWade:  One of my absolute best friends is a dude. We used to go out for dinner and drinks, just us, semi-frequently. He had a GF and I was with FH. Neither SO had a problem with it and now he is just as good friends with my FH so we are all going out tonight. In my opinion, there isn’t anything wrong with it, and I wouldn’t care what anyone other than my FH thought.

    Post # 15
    2462 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’d be fine with it, esp since it’s so clearly platonic–this guy was a groomsman in your wedding, for goodness’ sake! My dh has hung out with my bff when I was out of town or busy, and has grabbed meals with his friend who happens to be female, etc etc. No biggie at all!

    Post # 16
    480 posts
    Helper bee

    @spezia: + 1

    I have no problems having lunch with a male friend. And my fiancé doesn’t care at all. I have a very good male friend whom I met through my fiancé, even though they were never very close. He jokes that this friend is my “other husband.” 

    I would be a little unnerved if my fiancé suddenly told me he was having lunch with a girl, other than reasons of study groups, because he isn’t close with any girls. 

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