Post # 1
So I’m going out of town for a family event with my family and I’m taking my FI. Which my family all like and invited him as well. Well, my dad just called me saying because we are not married, he feels, the family being a little traditional, we should not be together in the same room. I’m 28, FI is 36. We do not live together yet, we will in jan and getting engaged before our trip, but no one knows yet. How would you feel in this situation? Would it be okay to sleep together in the same room if we are engaged? lol. I understand my dad, a little old school, but I lived with my ex for 8yrs before, but he said since we were living togther already its different. But then again I was younger back then. I’m almost 30! lol
Post # 3
You’re an adult.
Why is this even a conversation?! haha
If you think it’ll ruin the vacation because your parents are weird about it, then I guess that’s a different consideration. Part of being an adult is laying boundaries for what you want with your SO, though, so it just depends on whether this is a boundary you want to set with them.
Post # 4
IMO, you’re adults and you’re getting married. It’s fine by me. Now, if it were your parents’ house, then that would be another story and you’d need to respect their opinion. But since you’re getting a hotel, it makes more sense to stay together.
Post # 5
Are you staying with relatives, or did you pay for the hotel/lodging yourself? My rule is usually to abide by the host’s rules if you are staying in their home/accommodations.
Post # 6
@Follydust321: I agree. DH and I had to do this a few times when we stayed with his (Catholic) family.
Post # 7
My father would have the exact same reaction. If he’s paying, I say his rules go.
If you’re paying, then how much do you feel like arguing with your dad? For me I’d rather yield and respect his wishes than cause a big fuss for such a short period of time. He already knows I live with FI, out of respect for him I just don’t flaunt it in front of him.
Post # 8
My dad is just weird and “traditional” sometimes. lol. I just don’t want to hurt his feelings or to make him feel like I don’t respect how he thinks. We are staying in a hotel. I’m not upset at him for telling me this, but I do think its a little silly. We will be engage by then, so I wonder if that would change his mind. lol. just wondering what other people thought about this situation.
Post # 9
Ummmm… you and your guy should be able to have your own room!
Post # 10
@echolove: Firstly, I voted that you can do whatever you want to do; however, I think you should go on and respect your dad. let him feel comfortable. That’s very important. You’re his little girl and he has a certain perception of you whether it’s true or not. Have different rooms and enjoy sneaking around to see each other! You’ll be like teenagers again! It’ll be fun!
Post # 11
Unless you live with your parents, you’re staying with a relative or they’re paying for the room, I’d say politely, “While I respect your feelings, I’m an adult and you’re going to have to accept that I’m choosing to share a room with my fiance.”
Post # 12
if you are paying, you can do what you want in my opinion. if you are staing at someone else’s house, their rules go. i am in my late 40’s and my mother would never allow me to spend the night at her home with a man i wasn’t married to. and i’m not willing to go toe to toe with her on that either. what she says goes!
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Before we were married, if DH and I stayed with his family on their invitation, we stayed apart. With my family, we didn’t. If we had been paying with his family though, that would’ve changed things, but we were their guests, so we did as they requested. We were living together the whole time though and it’s not like that was a secret.