- 2 years ago
- Wedding: December 1995
don’t go and don’t even bother giving a gift unless you really want to. I don’t think people should expect gifts for every child.
Once I got invited to a baby shower of a co-worker (we are not friends more like aquaintances) for her granddaughter. Not even her own baby. I said no.
Sprinkles are kind of ridiculous anyway, so I think it would be perfectly acceptable to not go! For your own mental health.
OP I wouldn’t go. Send a card along with a family member or mail it to them.
OP, please don’t go if it’ll be painful for you, it’s not worth it. Be kind to yourself.
I also think it’s pretty ridiculous that she’s having a sprinkle when she just had her first daughter a year ago and this one’s also a girl. I’m more sympathetic to sprinkles if it’s a different sex and/or there’s a bigger age gap between kids and the parents don’t have baby things anymore.
Another vote for don’t go.
Plan yourself a relaxing day instead like massage or trip to a museum, or just a long hot bath. You don’t need to go. I skipped my dh’s best friend’s kid’s bday because I started stims that same day. Best decision I ever made for my own mental health. I got accupuncture instead and it was glorious 🙂
Just send a gift and keep your sanity. I went through infertility years ago and it was really tough. A couple of ideas. Have you heard of the group RESOLVE? It is a support group for people going through infertility. It is really helpful to commisserate with others going through the same thing and get practical ideas. There are many groups throughout the country. As much as possible, try to enjoy the life you have now with your husband. Infertility is a spiritual journey. You have to struggle at times with how unfair life can be and you have to struggle with the mystery of suffering. Why do some people get pregnant easily and others have to struggle to have a baby? How did my infertility turn out? First we adopted my older son and then later on through additional treatments gave birth to our second son. I am actually grateful that I went through infertility because it led to adopting my older son from Romania which would not have happened if I hadn’t gone through infertility. He along with my other son are the greatest gifts of my life. However, it happened in God’s time not my time.
Don’t go. During this time in your life, you need to protect yourself and honor your feelings. As someone coming up on the 2 year mark of infertility I totally get it, and your feelings are 100% valid. I’ve learned to avoid situations and people that are triggering for me. Some people won’t understand, but you can’t please everyone. Do what feels right for you, and don’t apologize for your feelings. I’m So sorry you are going through this, it’s a terrible thing to go through that not many people really understand.
I agree. Some people overdo it with gift giving events. It comes across as greedy and attention seeking. Sprinkles should be very small and low key.
OP, my heart goes out to you. I think you should not attend or you can briefly drop in if you feel that you have to show your face.
Thank you, everyone. The idea of a “sprinkle” truly doesn’t bother me. In my mind, her babies are so close together that the first one is still using a lot of things and she needs more. Just my personal opinion.
Regardless, I took all of what you guys said to heart and reached out to her today to let her know I wasn’t going to come, explained why and offered to take her to dinner instead. She was very understanding and I feel so much better. Thanks, bees <3
I wouldn’t go. Stay home and take time for yourself.