(Closed) going to a wedding in 3 hours, card/gift question!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

if you’re having the gift shipped i would just give the card with the gift and maybe a smaller note of congratulations at the wedding

Post # 4
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you are shipping the gift then just put a card with the gift so they know who it’s from, or give the card at the wedding and mention in the card that the gift is on its way. I would do either one but not both so its truly up to you, whichever you’re most comfortable with. Have fun!!

Post # 5
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m in the same boat today – shipped gift, ceremony today. We picked up a card to give the couple at the reception, felt weird coming completely empty-handed. I might reference the gift we sent, as in, “i hope you enjoy the wine glasses” and offer congrulations.

Post # 6
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If your gift is being shipped, you do not need to give a separate card at the reception. If you do give a card though, I’d be sure to right in it that the gift is on it’s way, so they don’t think your gift is the card. But like I said, it’s not necessary to bring a card.

Post # 7
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

You have done the proper thing by sending the gift to the bride’s home. The oft-quoted idea that “even if someone can’t afford a gift they could at least bring a card” is a misunderstanding of the role cards play in polite society: cards are a form of the social letter, not a form of gift. Letters are sent to people that you are not able to speak to in person.

So your card goes with your gift. Your kind words and your gracious support of your hostess are the things you bring with you into a social event. To feel odd coming in “completely empty-handed”, like most self-consciousness, is just social inexperience. Use it to remind yourself that a sophisticated guest brings something much more important: a willingness to do all the little social duties that make other guests more comfortable, smoothe over awkward moments, and turn the party into a success.

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