(Closed) Going to bars without your SO/FI

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Does your FI/husband go to bars without you?
    FI - yes, it doesn't bother me : (54 votes)
    38 %
    FI - yes, but I wish he didn't : (5 votes)
    4 %
    FI - no : (33 votes)
    23 %
    Husband - yes, it doesn't bother me : (31 votes)
    22 %
    Husband - yes, I wish he didn't : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Husband - no : (18 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    3521 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Darling Husband isn’t a big drinker, and he hates bars. I’ve gone a couple of times with a mutual guy friend, and Darling Husband honestly couldn’t care less. 

    To answer your question, if both parties are cool with it, I don’t think it’s weird at all.

    Post # 4
    9482 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    No.  FI has been over the entire bar scene for years – especially after working as a bouncer in one.  He hates when I drag him to one once in a blue moon to celebrate someone’s birthday.

    I don’t go anymore myself.  Doesn’t interest me.  It’s more fun when we go together.

    Post # 5
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I voted “Yes Fiance goes out without me and I don’t mind” but he is actually my DH!!!! OOPS!!!!!! I didn’t read the whole poll first!

    My Darling Husband and I go out often with our friends without eachother. I may actually do it more often then he does because I love going dancing with my girlfriends!!!! But my Darling Husband goes out with his boys often as well. And sometimes we also go out to bars/clubs together.

    I don’t think there is a problem with it and I don’t think dating or marital status should change anything. I act the same way at the bar that I have the entire time we have been dating. For me it is more of a girls night/dancing thing and for him it’s more of a boys hanging out talking about sports thing.

    Post # 6
    2467 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    it doesn’t bother me at all when dh goes out to bars without–actually, I usually encourage him to go. aside from being more of a homebody than he is, I’m in a phd program and work all. the. time. it’s just not fair for him to be cooped up just because I’m too busy to go out (plus he works at home, so it’s really not fair since he needs to leave the apt sometimes!). but dh usually goes to dive-y type bars to hang out with his guy friends, and he’s not a flirt, never goes dancing, etc. I don’t ever worry about that kind of thing because it’s just not his personality at all. and we’re in nyc where socializing generally means going to bars, so it’s just not a big deal to me.

    Post # 7
    5920 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I’m not a big bar kind of gal, but Darling Husband goes on occasion with his buddies.  Doesn’t bother me at all!

    Post # 8
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m not big on going out to clubs, but if I want to go out and my partner is working or busy, I’m going to go out. About twice a year I like to go out dancing, and usually go out by myself. I’m not bothered if iether of us go out solo

    Post # 9
    7310 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Mr. LK gave up the bar scene several years before we met, so, no, he doesn’t go to the bar without me. I really wouldn’t care if he did. He is a grown man and I trust his decisions.

    To answer your other question, I don’t think it is weird for people who are part of a couple to socialize seperately. The girls and I are planning a dancing night to celebrate my birthday in January. None of our guys like to dance, so it will be ladies only, and I can’t wait! And Mr. LK plans regulay guy days at the range or going fishing or whatever. More power to him. 🙂

    Post # 10
    415 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I used to be upset when my (then BF) Fiance would go out without me, I think it was a trust thing.  Now that I totally trust him I love it when he goes out without me, though we go out together too.  I’m an only child who goes crazy when I don’t get any time by myself.

    Post # 11
    1278 posts
    Bumble bee

    We aren’t big partiers, once in a while we will go to a bar but is stays low key 95% of the time.  If we go out it isn’t a club, it is a dive or sports bar.

    Last fall he moved 2 hours away for graduate school, and the first time he went out to the bar with his new friends really bothered me, but I think that was more of jealousy of him having fun while I stayed back here alone.  He still goes out with his friends without me (since we can’t get together every weekend) and I trust him and his friends, I usually ask him to call me when he gets home if it isn’t too late which is always nice.  I wouldn’t never ask him not to go, I would rather him go and have fun than stay home, he works hard all week and deserves to relax.  He has never been a womanizer or a flirty man, and I completly trust him.

    I don’t go out where I live, but sometimes I get back together with my college friends, and I’ll go out with them, without my SO.  He just tells me to have fun and not to drive if I’m drinking.  

    Post # 12
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m going to comment from the other side. We are engaged right now. My Fiance is not much into the bar scene, but I really enjoy it.

    I often go without him, usually with one of my close girl friends or just a group of friends. I don’t see this changing after we get married. (Maybe after we have kids, but just because I won’t have the free time anymore!! :P)

    I would love for my Fiance to come with me, but I know it’s not his thing so I don’t push it. He’d rather sit home and play video games. 🙂

    So no, I don’t think it’s weird and honestly, it’s better for us this way. If he gave me a hard time about going out I’d be bitter and if I dragged him out every time he’d be bitter LOL.

    We’ve talked about it before and I know it doesn’t bother him, but probably because he knows the people I’m going out with.

    Post # 13
    7693 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Neither of us are big bar people, but occasionally I’ll go out with my girlfriends without Darling Husband or he’ll go out with his guy friends or whomever without me. Doesn’t bother either of us in the least bit.

    Post # 14
    5667 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Usually we’ll go together (I’m the bigger drinker of the two of us) but sometimes he’ll go for a guys night. I’m not bothered by it at all.

    Post # 15
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    SO definitely likes going out more than I do, buuut its usually to see people I want to see anyway so I never opt to stay home by myself.  He does have some dude friends I could see him going out with without me, but they have different work schedules so they usually meet up to do other daytime activities instead.  I wouldn’t mind if he went out without me in theory, except I’m not working right now so I’m always itching to get out of the house even if its for something I’m not fussed about.

    Post # 16
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    No way!  Darling Husband hates bars.  I have a hard time getting him to go WITH me.  I wouldn’t like it if he went without me, but every person and relationship is different.  I don’t have a blanket opinion.  That would not necessarily apply to another person I was with.

    The topic ‘Going to bars without your SO/FI’ is closed to new replies.

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