(Closed) Going to church for your Significant Other when you don’t believe

posted 8 years ago in Secular
Post # 3
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I think you have some interesting thoughts…and it’s okay to have questions…  I sense that you haven’t grown up within the faith and so you think that you are noticing something that the people around you are missing, but I’d like to suggest that the Bible is all about a fallen sinful  group of people who miss the big picture a lot and make a lot of mistakes and yet are still loved by an Awesome amazing God!  (I’m not suggesting that you are wrong about being uncomfortable in that church, I don’t think I’d be comfortable there either…)  I just want you to know it’s okay to notice those details about the men and women in the Bible and to talk about them.  May God continue to bless your journey of faith!

Post # 4
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Cowboy Church, huh.  Well I’m glad they didn’t hand out any snakes!

When I was a kid, my family moved out to the country, and we tried going to the church in the nearby town.  Their “style” just didn’t seem to fit with us as well as the old church did, so my parents made the decision to drive 40 minutes back into the city each week to attend the old church.  I guess the point of that story is you should broaden your search radius a bit, so to speak.  You should never be made to feel like you’re participating in a form of worship that you don’t identify with, and it sounds like your husband wouldn’t be opposed to looking for a new church anyway.

Post # 5
Bee
13050 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Hey Caitlanc!  My whole life my mom went to church with my dad even though he believed and she didn’t.  I’m not sure if she got anything out of it, but I think that they both benefited from picking a church TOGETHER that they could compromise on.  He was Baptist and she had grown up in Church of Christ.  They settled on a Methodist church, which in general is a much more progressive branch of Protestantism.  I grew up in that church and although I don’t believe now, I think it was a pretty good community to grow up in.  Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

R and I both end up going to church sometimes for his mom. She cares so deeply about it that we just can’t stand to hurt her. I’m not going to lie, I sit there and very silently reaffirm why I am an atheist. But I’m respectful and I do it because ultimately, I care much more about family than sitting through an hour of a service I don’t believe in. 

I think that with J, maybe you can find a compromise. Would he be willing to split Sundays, so every other Sunday you get to do a “you” activity together? 

And what’s Cowboy Church? haha, my city-induced ignorance is showing. 

Post # 7
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

caitlanc you can tell in your post here exactly how your mind wandered during the services and how it wandered during your post! To be honest, I’d be interested in hearing your sermon / ramblings over what they were talking about – entertaining! Ever read Lamb by Christopher Moore? Funny.

Anyway, i think it’s sweet that you’re going to support your SO, but if you’re going to go the religious route (instead of say, watching him play rugby with his friends) then he should compromise too, since it’s a biggie. Maybe you could attend a local church that is a little less out there than Cowboy church for 3 weekends a month, and for the fourth, commit to driving an hour (?) out of the way to attend the Quaker or UU church you’d like to visit. If you go once a month, but make it a regular thing, you can be part of that community, too. Or you can probably watch church services online in your home. I’m agnostic so I don’t know if this actually happens, but if that crying britney spears guy can get a youtube fan base, i’m sure that an acceptable church leader could put something out on the innertubes as well.

 

 

Post # 9
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@caitlan – interesting post again! I’m skeptical of showing Mel Gibson movies @ church, too. :-X Didn’t they get that memo?

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