Going to everyone's weddings but I don't want anybody at mine?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
624 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I don’t even think people keep track…? Only on this site do I see this attitude but I swear none of my friends ever said “oh man Ms. Regina is getting married and didn’t invite me! That B, I fed her in mine!”

That sounds crazy, and too much time in your hands to be keeping track of that.

Post # 17
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I had a not close but close enough to invite to a wedding friend who decided to do a tiny destination wedding, I loved all her photos, loved seeing them when they got back and will be so happy to have her at my wedding. 

Your friends will feel the same, don’t over think it. 

Post # 18
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Are you engaged yet? Agree with PP, have the small courthouse wedding you want and then have a kickass dinner. If you arent engaged you could even do it as a “Surprise! Guess what we did today!” A coworker recently did that, and I thought it was so bad ass. For the dinner, uou could even make it fun and have a theme Iron Chef style or make it pot luck. That’ll take all the stress out of it. 

Post # 19
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I have lots of friends who eloped or did courthouse weddings and I have not spent a single second worruieecanout not being invited to their celebrations. Their marriage is about them, not me! Your friends won’t be bothered at all. 

Post # 20
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

One thing that’s nice about this is that you can spend a little bit of money attending everyone else’s fabulous weddings without spending a ton of money on yours! Bright side 😀

Post # 21
52 posts
Worker bee

I tell all of my friends who are getting married to spend less! Haha and we are all having weddings between $4000-$18000, so probably opposite of what many people feel they should do for a wedding. My one friend (and my bridesmaid) is contemplating doing a destination wedding, which is totally awesome and I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid, but I am afraid by the time my wedding passes and her date arrives, I may either be pregnant or with a young child, so I gave her the heads up I may not beable to attend (even 2 years in advance) but I still want to help her plan, and discussed options of elopement, or renting out a nice room in a local court house with very close friends and family and then go to a restaurant to celebrate, or do what they originally planned of doing a destination wedding! I just keep telling her that no matter what her wedding package is at the beach, all she needs is an ocean view and the beautiful couple giving themselves to eachother (which I think I have her thinking of doing the complementary wedding package).


another option is, if you want to elope, but still have close family and friends, do a surprise wedding and have the family go to a cottage or a resort for a family vacation and end up having a photographer and officiant booked. 

I am having a midday wedding taking place after lunch for a “punch and cake reception” offering some food, dessert, mixed “brunch style drinks”, tea and coffee, pop and water in my finances family home backyard on 10 acres. We are still having 100 people invited, but usually there is only 20-50 people invited to these types of receptions.


There are are so many ideas and no one will be upset, and if they are, they will only be sore for a moment. There can be a lot of hurt feelings moments here and there, but sometimes you have to make cut throat decisions and if you don’t want people there, then don’t have them. Good luck!

Post # 22
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

It’s your day. Just because so-and-so invited you to their wedding does not mean that you have to invite them, particularly if they had a very large wedding and you’re planning something much more intimate. People should understand! I second having a small courthouse wedding or eloping, perhaps only have your family present or no one at all. Then you could always do an intimate dinner or BBQ later on and show a photo slideshow or video of the actual ceremony!

Post # 23
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

A friend I really want to invite to my wedding had a super small wedding (I think just family and a couple close friends). I’m still inviting her and her husband to mine! I am not offended at all that I wasn’t invited to her wedding. So do your wedding your way! I’m sure your friends who will be having bigger weddings later will be happy to invite you.

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