- 5 years ago
Hey there, fellow waiters! I’m going to jump right into the story:
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half now. From the moment we started dating, I knew he was the one, and he told me all the time I was, and that he couldn’t wait to get married, etc. My SO and I have always been open about talking about marriage…sometimes I bring it up, sometimes he does. His mom and sister ALWAYS bring it up, they can’t wait for the day. Many people ask us, (I am 28, he’s 31) when we are getting married, many of his friends are married, engaged, etc. Some days I think to myself, if one more freakin’ person asks me when we are getting married I’m gonna lose my sh**!
Long story short, we are going to Mexico Nov 1. We have had this trip booked since June. I never really thought that he would propose on this trip. I always thought we were going to get away, it’s our first long vacation together in a tropical place, etc. However, I have had several people hint around that he is going to propose on this trip. I asked him about it because someone mistakenly brought it up in a conversation that I overheard a few months ago. He basically said “we’ll see, I don’t know, etc”. It’s like, ummm…I’m not 6 and I know if someones trying to fool me! But I get that he’s not going to say, “Yes, dear. You’ve uncovered my master plan”.
Well fast forward to now, which is 2 weeks before we go to Mexico. For the past like month and a half, we have been arguing like cats and dogs. I don’t know what it is, but it’s making me feel very unsure if he will propose, and if he even is thinking along those lines anymore! Of course, ever since I knew he was thinking of proposing, I have been saying things like “How do you even know what kind of ring I like? How do you know the size? Don’t we need to go look at rings?” He will say “Well, let’s go look at rings”, but then I feel like, well why aren’t YOU asking ME if I want to go look at rings, or just taking me to look at them? Why am I bringing it up? Look – I know many men lack the desire and skills to be good at planning. I am a big planner myself, I accept that I plan most things in our relationship and that’s my role and my personality. However, if you are supposedly planning to get engaged in a foreign country in like 2 weeks, don’t you think you’d have your ducks in a row by now? Like researched the hotel we are staying at to come up with ideas, probably bought the ring already, planning how you are going to conceal the ring on the flight, etc?
So, now I am thinking, oh crap…has he changed his mind about me? Have I been nagging him too much about this whole situation? Now that the timeframe is closing in, has he realized he’s not ready? Sidenote: After 2 of our arguments in the last month, he has said “I don’t even know if we are ready to get engaged”. I tell him, maybe not, and say that it’s unsettling to know that he can give up that easy because of an argument. About 20 minutes later he apologizes and says he did not mean that, he loves me, blah blah blah.
So you can imagine why I have no idea what will happen on our vacation? I feel like I am going to be so damn anxious the whole time wondering if and when he will do it. And then, if it doesn’t happen, I will be completely dissappointed. AND, what do you say to all of those people that he told he was going to propose in Mexico when they ask, Why didn’t it happen?
Ahhh! This whole thing is making me crazy, and I feel like I’m turning it into a pressure filled proposal (if it happens). Any advice?