(Closed) Going to Paradise, Feeling Dread…

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I know it’s hard to go there not expecting anything, but that’s what you have to do. My family was the same way when I told them my SO and I were going to Jamaica together. And at first, it was in the back of my mind that maybe we would get engaged there. But honestly, by the time my bum was firmly planted in a lounger on the beach, I could’ve cared less. I was in paradise with the man I loved and enjoying every second of it.


So put it out of your mind so it doesn’t ruin your trip. If it happens, great! If not, you’re still going to Hawaii with the man you love.

Post # 4
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d say after the third big trip together and no engagement I got used to putting it out of my mind. I thought last year, our 7th year, when we went to Jamaica that it might happen but like Tarheelgurl said, once I  was lounging I forgot about it. Unfortunately, you’ll still probably get the looks to your finger or questions if it happened when you get back. Just try to enjoy yourself and keep busy during the trip.

Post # 6
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It sounds like SO knows your expectations about Hawaii being a special trip and I don’t think he would let you down after you made it so clear.  

Let me give you advice….just because you don’t think something is up, it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.  I woke up today not expecting to get engaged, and guess what, SO was calm and collected all morning, then BAM!!! Engaged at 1:00!  I don’t know how guys keep it together, but they do.   

I just went through this this summer…the big trip in July and no engagement after five years.  Although I really do think it’s happening for you in Hawaii, if it doesn’t, you will still be able to have a good time.  Order lots of drinks and just think of how lucky you are to be in Hawaii! 

Post # 9
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@purpledaisies:  Could it be that he and his mom are in it together, and she’s trying to throw you off the trail? Or that he hasn’t told her about his plans because she might give away the surprise?

Post # 11
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

That’s tough… hopefully he just wants you be really surprised!! I would definitely get a manicure just in case though.  And if it doesn’t happen, then you were looking good on a wonderful vacation in Hawaii!! It’s a win win situation!!

Post # 12
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@purpledaisies:   Or he may not have the money, if he already bought the ring. 

Post # 13
338 posts
Helper bee

I say don’t completely lose hope, but don’t convince yourself that it’s going to happen either because both could ruin your trip.

Although, I must say that telling his mom he doesn’t have money and being calm don’t necessarily mean anything.  SO has made it very clear that he is not going to give hints to anybody that the engagement is coming so they don’t ruin the surprise that is oh-so-important to him.  Also, is your SO somebody who is good at appearing calm or unfazed even when he’s freaking out/a calm person in general?  If either of those are the case or if he only freaks out immediately before something happens, his collected air may mean nothing.

Best of luck on your trip, not letting a potential lack of proposal get you down, and have fun in Hawaii!

Post # 15
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Maybe she was calling to try and throw you off? Who calls just to tell their FDIL that they are still working on getting their son to propose? Sounds like a red herring!

Post # 16
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I know how this feels – I was soooo nervous that he wouldn’t propose on our trip overseas recently. Thankfully he did, but I had resigned myself to just enjoying the trip and having fun travelling.

You will enjoy it more if you aren’t expecting it every 5 minutes… 

Hopefully he is planning to ask! 

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