Post # 1
I had some family members, who are now not invited (but not for this reason!) who said that they would come to the reception, but not the ceremony since they aren’t on board with my choice of a husband! Hello!? The whole point of a reception is to celebrate the marriage! Without a wedding ceremony, whether it is JOP or big, religious ceremony, there would be no reception. A reception is the “thank you” to guests for coming to your special day, not just so they can party. This isn’t a New Year’s Eve party or Super Bowl party, it’s a wedding.
It has amazed me since I became engaged how many people have come to think this is acceptable. They think the ceremony is boring, or they are not religious, etc. It’s funny how it is so hard to sit for an hour or so for the ceremony, but perfectly fine to sit/dance for 5 to get a meal, drinks and entertainment.
Post # 3
@brendaray2009: Yes I think it is rude, of course there can be circumstances where one cannot make ceremony, but to purposely skip it cause it is boring is like the rudest thing ever in wedding ettiquette IMO.
Post # 5
@brendaray2009: I would ask them not to come. Say something like I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable. I’m sure someone here could word a way to uninvite them. If they openly state that they do not like your husband,dont come. Dont waste money. You are absolutely right,it is not the super bowl. You do not need sideway looks and gossiping at your wedding. If they are not happy for you they do not need to be there.Good luck putting your foot down:)
Post # 6
Very rude…unless you have circumstances that will not allow you at attend the ceremony but can come to the reception, such as limited space or work commitments then you should go to the ceremony. If you can’t, then don’t go to either.
Post # 7
These people are from out of town, Maryland and Delaware. When they come into town and visit the family, it is never an inconvenience. Since my fiance and I scaled down our wedding, the only ones invited are people in the general area, with the exception of his parents and brother in Puerto Rico, who are more than happy to attend both! I know there are circumstances that prevent people from attending both: travel, can’t get off work on time the day before (or day of if a Friday wedding), hiring a sitter for too long, elderly, etc. But because it’s boring to them is just rude.
Post # 8
I might be in the minority here, but I do not always think it’s automatically rude to not attend a ceremony. Yes, in your case, it’s rude to not attend the ceremony, but attend the reception because they don’t support the marriage – well, then they shouldn’t support any part of it. But, I don’t always think that’s a blanket rule. I have certainly missed some ceremonies before. Sometimes they’re hours apart and you can’t make both or something.
Post # 9
I declined an invitation to my friend’s wedding because I could not get to the ceremony on time. My FI (BF at the time) lived in the state she was getting married and I was out if state. I was going to be a thus house with no vehicle and could not leave for the wedding until he got home from work. When she asked why we declined and I explained it, she asked us to come to the reception anyway. I guess my point is that I think it is rude of them and I would never ghave done it. I think you are perfectly in your right to uninvited them, nicely of course.
Post # 10
It’s not uncommon in my area, especially with the Catholic gap. I’ve only ever skipped ceremonies because of work.
But it’s rude to do because you don’t like someone!
Post # 11
WOW I did not have a SINGLE person say that to me! If anything, there were a few people who went out of their way, some WAYYY out of their way, just to be there for our ceremony even though they couldn’t stay for the reception. How rude!
Post # 12
I just don’t get wrapped around the ax handle about this. We are thrilled with whatever time our guests give us for our DDs’ weddings/receptions. If we loved them enough to invite them, we love them enough to party with them regardless of whether or not they attended the ceremony.
Post # 13
@brendaray2009: Agree. If you’re gonna skip the ceremony you have to skip the entire wedding. It’s rude to just come for the free meal and drinks.
Post # 14
If they don’t support the man you’re choosing, they have no business celebrating with you at your reception. Just coming for some free food is unacceptable. Personally, I wouldn’t want anyone at my wedding who did not support my husband & I being together. Bad vibes.
“I’m so sorry to hear that, but I appreciate you being honest. To be honest with you, I’m not comfortable with you being there for the reception if you disapprove of my husband.”
As for people not coming to the ceremony (for other reasons) but coming to the reception, it’s case-by-case for me. Sometimes things happen and you can’t make the ceremony (work, sick child, etc) but to skip a ceremony because you think it’s “boring” is just ridiculous. (Those people would also be off my guest list, honestly.)
Post # 16
It doesn’t bother me at all. I highly doubt that we’d even notice if a guest is missing, it’s not like we’re going to be chatting them up at the ceremony. The reception is what matters to me – that’s when you mingle and socialize with your guests. And it’s the fun part! I admit that freely as the bride.