Post # 1
I just wanted to thank you for your support when I posted about my mom’s illness a few weeks ago.
My mom passed away last Tuesday. I was foruntate enough to have had a few days with her before, and I spent the whole day with her before she passed. I think I may always regret the decision to go back to my grandma’s that night. I was not by her side when she died, and I had originally planned to stay the night.
I did not get the courage to read her the poem I wrote for her. I had it in my hands at her bedside two days before she passed and I couldn’t bring myself to read it. I just thought I would have more time. I read it to her at the funeral…I don’t know what I believe, but I hope she heard it.
I will always remember some of the last things she said to me. I asked her if I could read while she rested and she said “Just knowing you’re here is nice.”
She was also true to herself until the end. My mom could be hard to please and I was helping her adjust in the bed. When I told her I thought she was fine, she said “You’re not being very helpful Alena.” I was so mad for a second, and then I decided I had no right to be.
Of course she was frustrated. My mom, who overcame blindness to become an independent and strong willed woman, could no longer turn in bed without assistance.
I miss her so much it aches. I keep thinking of things I would call and talk to her about or questions she would know the answers to and then it hits me. I will never talk to her again.
I keep finding myself looking for signs that she’s with me, watching over me. Maybe I’m being weird. I just hope she is happy and at peace now.
Post # 3
Aaaah Sweetie… I am sooo sorry for your loss
I have no words…
So I will just send (( HUGS )) your way,
And do know that there are Bees who you can reach out to to chat with anytime you need to (I see that your W-Date is coming up soon)… so understandably it has got to be hard, and the next few months will be an emotional roller coaster for you
Post # 4
I am so sorry. I cant even imagine what you must be feeling. I pray that Gods peace be with you and all your family. You sound like you were a very good daughter. 🙂
Post # 5
I am SO SORRY for your loss!!! *Hugs*
Post # 6
Oh my goodness Im so sorry
Post # 7
So sorry for your loss. Big Hugs. Stay strong. 🙂
Post # 8
@Silver Plum Fairy: I am so, so sorry for your loss.
Post # 9
So sorry. Best wishes as you begin to heal.
Post # 10
I am so sorry for your loss. I bet it meant a lot to your mom that you spend her last few days with her. It sounds like you brought a lot of comfort to her by being there and were able to show her how much she means to you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but know that there’s a whole forum of ladies here for support. You and your family are in my prayers.
Post # 11
I’m so sorry…heros don’t look the way they draw them in books, they’re usually quite ordinary, a little cute looking and called Mom….I’m certain that yours is no exception to that rule, and yet she was exceptional in every way, wasn’t she?
Regardless of what you believe, some things are true, and everything you wanted to say to your mother but couldn’t, she already knew. The time you wanted to spend with her and didn’t means nothing to her, because it’s the time you were together that counted.
There’s a secret life behind the one we live in, and if you look hard enough, you’ll see signs of her out of the corner of your eye, or hear a song that reminds you of her, a flock of birds lighting from a tree, a book she loved or even looking back at you in the mirror…she’s nearby, and just out of reach, but the love stays the same, and that’s all a person really needs.
Be kind to yourself, allow yourself the grief, whatever that means for you and keep a weather eye on the horizon, your mother is closer than you think.
Post # 12
Sorry to hear about your loss. Thoughts and prayers are being sent your way!
Post # 13
TO Nona99: Simply gorgeous !!
Thank you for finding the words… that I was a loss for.
As someone who is over 50, and see a lot of life (and sadly a lot of death too) EVERYTHING you said is true about this world… no one really dies / fades away completely … they live on in those that loved them… all we do, who we are, and how we honour them. There isn’t a week that goes by, that my mind doesn’t wander off to someone who has passed away in my half-a century of time here on the planet (and YES usually sparked by something so pure and simple). And each recollection makes me pause to wonder at how much I loved them, what they meant to me, and the GIFTS they left me in regards to how I live my life. They are gone, but sooo not forgotten.
May the OP find as much peace and security in your words, as I know you have given to me, and no doubt others who read your reply.
Post # 14
So very sorry. Very very sorry. You made me cry with your poem and again when I read this post. Your mom was lucky to have such a wonderful caring daughter, and no doubt she knew that. Cherish your memories, they willie help you through this time. Xoxo
Ps – Nona you made me cry too…
Post # 15
I am so sorry for your loss. I just want to say one thing to you. Don’t regret that you didn’t stay with your mom the night she passed away. I work in hospice and a lot of times when family leaves (for the day, nigh, etc) that is when the patient chooses to pass away. Your mom may have thought it would have been too hard for you to be there when she passed away. I will pray for you and know that your mother loves you and always will.
Post # 16
@Nona99: Thank you so much. What you wrote was beautiful and what I needed to hear. I will look for her everyday.